Cook jokes
My friend surprised me for my birthday with a book called ‘Road-Kill Recipes’. I did find some roadkill the other day, so I cooked it according to one recipe and it was delicious. I’m just not sure what I should do with the bicycle.
Why was the asian late to class?
His 1 minute rice took 2 minutes to cook.
What do you call Dominos when it doesn't know how to cook pizza?
Domi-don't-knows...
What do you call an engineer that bakes? A BAKENEER!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Chicken.
Chicken who?
Are you chicken me????!!!!
yep
Chiefs is an egg-cellent cook!
If Hitler had a cooking channel: Step one... Turn on the gas.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions, which made me cry.
Onions was a good dog.
I was in cooking class and my teacher said, "Does anyone know what a chopping board is similar to?"
Me and my friend just glanced at each other and burst out laughing.
Long story short, the teacher understood the joke, and now we are both in daily therapy. 😭💀
Yo' mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.
A husband comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can’t cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can’t fuck."
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
One screams when I peel its skin off.
A husband walks into his house to find his wife watching Gordon Ramsay's F-king cooking show!
Husband: "Stop watching that f-king sh*t! You can't cook to save your life!"
Wife: "So what?! You watch porn, don't you?!"
What's a pedophile's favorite cooking ingredient?...... Fresh meat.
Your mum is so bad at cooking, Gordon Ramsey brought back Hitler to show her how to use an oven.
Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?
The only person I'd have a cooking lesson with is Hitler.
Do you know why most men are impressive cooks?
Because with two eggs and a sausage, they can keep women full for 9 months.
Women should be allowed to choose: dishes or cooking first.
Did you hear that Daft Punk came out with a cook book?
It's called "One More Thyme."