Knife Jokes

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when you say i wish i could cut of these bumps on my neck. (your mom walking to you with a knife)

I paled catch with my friends but they keep going to sleep when i throw it.

Butcher knifes are great tools for cutting many things! Fruit, vegetables, my arms

Making a comforting breakfast But you have a knife.

Q:What's the difference between a knife and razor blade? A:Depends on which wound bleeds faster.

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What do you call a pig who knows how to use a knife? A pork chop.

Whats the difference between a watermelon and an orphan One you cut into 2 with a knife And the water melon you cut into pieces

A noose, a knife, a gun, and a razor blade look at a child who committed suicide after being bullied. Everyone looked at the noose. The noose would say,"What? It wasn't my fault."

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Remember the big forehead kid who said “Give me a knife, I’m going to kill myself” ? because of being bullied His head was to big to even exist, and that's why he's dead

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Normally the reason you don't get a knife when you ask for one is because the person you asked is emo

After having a win at bingo Ethel splashed out on some venison for tea..... During the meal her daughter asked her mum what it was to which she replied with a little smile...'Its what I call your father'... Little Jimmy threw down his knife and fork and jumped up sayin 'Oh My God Dont eat it!!! It's a fucking Dick!