a depressed guy walk into a utensil store and finds a knife but he didnt stab himself.... part 2 coming out tommorow
Two men were were on a hike through a forest when on of the hikers got bit on his ass by a snake the other hiker ran to the village 2 miles away and explained to a doctor there what had happened the doctor told him to cut a cross with a knife where he had been bitten and suck out the venom so he ran back to the first hiker who asked him, ''have u got the cure'' hiker number two just said nah mate your dead
Knock knock “ who’s there?” knife “knife, who” how are you still alive? I just stabbed you.
Why did Arnold throw his clock out of the window?
It reminded him of Richard clocks, a man convicted for knife raping his wife
Imagine this..ur a lesbian and ur doing it with your cannibal girlfriend. You say "eat me baby"
She pulls out a knife and fork
* sans at sans favorite restaurant* Sans: hey frisk what do you eat today?
Frisk: one knife plz
sans: ok one knife plz
Waiter: you eat a knife?
Frisk: yes
* waiter asking for one knife*
Waiter: here you go
Frisk: thanks you
Sans: What do you have there? Frisk: A KNIFE! Sans: NOO!!!
Someone handed me a knife the other day and told me that it was very smart.
I made sure it didn't outsmart me.
Riddle: A man killed his wife in his car with a knife in his car and know one could see him. He threw the body out the car and thew the knife off a cliff. When he got home, the cops called the man and told him his wife is dead and to come to the sene of the crime. The man agreed and rushed to the scene. When he got there, the cops amediently arrested him. Why? ANSWER: The cops never said qhere the sene of the crime is.
A American goes on a British bus after being in war he wants to sit down so he goes to the back of the bus to sit down but there is a old woman on the seat with her dog in the next the man says will you move your dog the lady says oh you Americans always so demanding and she says to sit some where else he goes through and finds no seats so now he at the back again this time he throws the dog out the window and sits down the man in front says you Americans always do things wrong first yoy drive on the wrong side of the road then hold you knife and fork wrong and you threw the wrong bitch out the window
How do you kill a retard
Give them a knife and say “who’s special”
Win a free ride in a police car! Just pick up a knife, and use it!
Making a comforting breakfast But you have a knife.
Q:What's the difference between a knife and razor blade? A:Depends on which wound bleeds faster.
Butcher knifes are great tools for cutting many things! Fruit, vegetables, my arms
when you say i wish i could cut of these bumps on my neck. (your mom walking to you with a knife)
how do you break up blind people in a fight? scream i put my money on the guy with the knife
What do you call a pig who knows how to use a knife? A pork chop.
Hang in there ya Emo bastards! Remember you could always be dead, oh too soon?🤣🤣
No wonder they wanna die so much, I'd wanna die too if I was a freak who listens to Black Veils Brides!🤣🤣🤣
Anybody got a knife? I mean an Emo dildo?🤣🤣🤣
Whats the difference between a watermelon and an orphan One you cut into 2 with a knife And the water melon you cut into pieces
