Kidnapping jokes
Why did the homeless man stop to help the kids cross the street?
To get them into his van.
Yo mama so dumb, when a kid told her to “give her a fag,” she kidnapped Ricardo!
An orphan was running down the road. A car pulled up and said, "Get in." So the orphan got in and said, "Where are we going?" The kidnapper said, "I'm taking you to my house." The orphan replied, "OML, ARE YOU ADOPTING ME!?"
Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.
How many times does 42 go into 9?
Get in the van to find out.
What’s the difference between Jesus and Maddie McCann?
One had the last supper.
what did the pedophile say to the kid?
"Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van."
What do most 50-year-old men put inside their cars?
Children.
Have you heard about the kidnapping at the goat farm?
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I have a gun,
GET IN THE VAN!!
Why do orphans always go to white vans when someone asks?
Because they want to feel wanted.
What is the difference between preschools and my basement?
Little kids come out of preschool.
I was walking home, then I saw a "Wait" sign. A man came and took me. I'm still waiting for him to ask for a lesson.
What do you call an orphan being kidnapped?
A surprise adoption!!
"Fortnite balls, I'm gay. I like boys. I kidnap autistic kids. Lil Mosey is white."
Sara opens her lunch and reads the letter inside. "I packed your favorite -love mom," Sara reaches in and announces "yay PB and J!" Tom goes in his lunch and pulls out a letter "go buy yourself something healthy at the cafeteria -Dad," then pulls out 20 bucks and says "nice!" They both look at Craig as he pulls out a letter. Craig reads the letter in his head, it said "WE HAVE YOUR PARENTS, THEY TELL US THEY KEEP THE MONEY UNDER THEIR BED. BRING $10 000 TO THE RANDAVOU POINT OR THEY WILL BE KILLED. YOU DIDN'T TAKE US SERIOUSLY LAST TIME SO THERE IS MORE PROOF IN YOUR LUNCH." Craig throws down the letter and pulls a finger out of his lunch. Tom and Sara look shocked, then Craig says "ugh, severed finger, again!"
A young boy was picked up by a strange young man who put him in his car and drove into an abandoned farm.
"This place looks scary," the kid said.
And the man replies, "I know right, I have to walk out of there alone."
Jacob Colletto
How do you kidnap Stephen Hawking?
Shut off his computer.
What do kidnappers play?
Roblox.