Puppet jokes
You know how in Pinocchio the French puppets have the thigh rings?
Well, I got them too! Only red and thinner.
I told someone some jokes, y'know? "Fruit Ninja," "barcode legs," "French puppet thigh wrings." And she was like saying that's not cool and stuff. So she reported me, and it was like:
The counselor: "So I've heard you've been making sh jokes?" Me: "You say it like it's a bad thing." Her: "It is." Me: "Chill bro, it ain't that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)"
Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?
Because when she gets to 69 there's a frog in her throat.
Elmo, stop penetrating the orphan!
What do Michael Jackson and Pinocchio have in common?
They both lie over little boys 😂
What did Cermet the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral?
Nothing...
What's green and smells like bacon?
Kermit's finger.
Why did Pinocchio cross the road?
To get to the other lied.
How do you annoy Pinocchio?
Ask him, "Do you always tell lies?"
What do you call yourself when you fist a midget?
A ventriloquist.
What did the lady say when she sat on Pinocchio's face:
"Tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth!"
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught on fire.
Number 1 ventriloquist dies at age 76, will be mist.
What did Kermit the Frog say at Jim Henson's funeral? Nothing.
There once was a boy named Sammy who loved this girl beyond belief. Her name was Rayne, but she didn’t notice him and or talk to him, but one day she did, and the ended up liking each other and getting married and living happil- wait no, that’s not right. Sammy actually snuck in Rayne's house one day and kidnapped her and locked her in his basement and made her into a puppet so he could keep her forever and ever. The End.
What's the difference between puppies and orphans?
The puppies actually get adopted.
Do gay midgets come out of the cabinet?
When is it acceptable to hit a dwarf?
When he dances with your wife and says her hair smells nice...
Slavery is like Pokémon, you gotta catch them all.
Did you hear about the lesbian midget? She probably came out of the cabinet.