Puppet jokes
Need a sock puppet for a joke.
"Hey Soccy?" "What?" "Where do you come from?" "The laundry bin... I don鈥檛 wanna talk about it!" 馃ぃ
How do you annoy Pinocchio?
Ask him, "Do you always tell lies?"
What do Michael Jackson and Pinocchio have in common?
They both lie over little boys 馃槀
Elmo, stop penetrating the orphan!
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught on fire.
What do you call yourself when you fist a midget?
A ventriloquist.
You know how in Pinocchio the French puppets have the thigh rings?
Well, I got them too! Only red and thinner.
Number 1 ventriloquist dies at age 76, will be mist.
What did the lady say when she sat on Pinocchio's face:
"Tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth!"
What did Cermet the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral?
Nothing...
I told someone some jokes, y'know? "Fruit Ninja," "barcode legs," "French puppet thigh wrings." And she was like saying that's not cool and stuff. So she reported me, and it was like:
The counselor: "So I've heard you've been making sh jokes?" Me: "You say it like it's a bad thing." Her: "It is." Me: "Chill bro, it ain't that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)"
What did Kermit the Frog say at Jim Henson's funeral? Nothing.
Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?
Because when she gets to 69 there's a frog in her throat.
Why did Pinocchio cross the road?
To get to the other lied.
There once was a boy named Sammy who loved this girl beyond belief. Her name was Rayne, but she didn鈥檛 notice him and or talk to him, but one day she did, and the ended up liking each other and getting married and living happil- wait no, that鈥檚 not right. Sammy actually snuck in Rayne's house one day and kidnapped her and locked her in his basement and made her into a puppet so he could keep her forever and ever. The End.
Master has given Dobby a Glock. Dobby is Thug.
A pirate walks into a tavern with a pirate ship attached to his nutty wuttys. It's driving me nuts!
A troll proceeds to pull out a desert eagle and shoot the pirate in the face. He makes a poggers face and says, "Problem??"
Little Brown Bear (LBB): Why did Santa take the kitty and all of my toys, Mummy?
His mom: Maybe because you're the second most massive shit stain besides Caillou.
*Krampus comes down the chimney to eat LBB*
Krampus: Should鈥檝e been better, Little Bear.
LBB: Help, Mummy! He鈥檚 the Scratchy monster!
Shrek: Just kidding, it鈥檚 not Krampus, but indeed me and Black Donkey instead, and we鈥檙e going to poop on your floor.
Duggie: Hopefully Marvin doesn鈥檛 see us, and by the way, want some purplish Kool-Aid?
What's green and smells like bacon? Kermit's finger.