Kidnapping jokes
It is not funny about kidnapping.
There once was a boy named Sammy who loved this girl beyond belief. Her name was Rayne, but she didn’t notice him and or talk to him, but one day she did, and the ended up liking each other and getting married and living happil- wait no, that’s not right. Sammy actually snuck in Rayne's house one day and kidnapped her and locked her in his basement and made her into a puppet so he could keep her forever and ever. The End.
"Knock, knock.""Who's there?""Kid.""Kid who?""Kidnap you!"
I heard there was a kidnapping.
Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.
It was his father's friend who was a priest.
He was just bringing him to church.
Where's is the candy, sir???
Over there.
(kid steps in van)
I don't see any candy.
I don't like the term "kidnapping." I prefer "surprise adoption."
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoe? White vans.
What's the #1 rule of kidnapping prevention?
Don't get carried away!
I tried kidnapping a kid today and told him I was his dad's friend and I would take him home. He just curled up into a ball and started crying. Kidnapping must be easy.
What is black and blue and really hates sex? The six-year-old in my basement.
Yo mama so dumb, when a kid told her to “give her a fag,” she kidnapped Ricardo!
What’s the difference between Jesus and Maddie McCann?
One had the last supper.
Have you heard about the kidnapping at the goat farm?
Got kidnapped in Iran. Luckily, I ran.
What do you call an orphan being kidnapped?
A surprise adoption!!
Person 1: "I love KFC."
Person 2: "Yeah, me too!"
Person 1: "How many have you gotten?"
Person 2: "How am I supposed to remember how many buckets of chicken I have ordered!?"
Person 1: "Chicken? What chicken? What do you think KFC stands for?"
Person 2: "Kentucky Fried Chicken?"
Person 1: "What? I thought it meant kidnapping foster children."
Person 2: "BLOODY WHATT??"
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I have a gun,
GET IN THE VAN!!
If you have an Autistic child, don't worry. Put your trust in God and pray it gets kidnapped.
What do ICE and Mexican drug cartels both have in common?
They both kidnap Canadian women!
Why did the homeless man stop to help the kids cross the street?
To get them into his van.