Kidnapping Jokes

Kidnapping is just surprise adoption.

What’s the difference between a child and someone who been kidnapped?? One of them is a domesticated pet

If Jesus told you to trust everyone that must be why there is a lot of kidnappings

DH: What do you call an orphan with parents?

A: I don't know... what?

DH: Kidnapped. :)

-Dark_Humor

What happen to chickens that get kidnapped by rapists?

They get choked.

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Its fine, he woke up

Hey did you hear about the kidnapping?" "no." Yeah but then he woke up.

Knock knock whos there kid kid who kidnap you

Hey guys,

I'm starting to think they don't have any candy in this van...

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Kidnapping is just surprise adoption, congrats! You are now all my children! Just hop into the portal that leads to the Lust ring in hell-

What's a kidnapper's favourite shoe? White vans

What's the #1 rule of kidnapping prevention? Don't get carried away.

I tried kidnapping a kid today and told him I was his dads friend and I would take him home, he just curled up into a ball and started crying, kidnapping must be easy.

Why did the kidnapper cross the rode

To get the the kids at the playground

I dont like the term "kidnapping". I prefer "surprise adoption"

What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and the kid I kidnapped? Isaac Newton died a virgin.

Me and my friend went to the park, after a while we grabbed our little princess and said "it's time to go sweetie" but before we could go someone said "stop them they have my daughter!"

Sara opens her lunch and reads the letter inside. "I packed your favorite -love mom," Sara reaches in and announces "yay PB and J," Tom goes in his lunch and pulls out a letter " go bye your self something healthy at the cafeteria -Dad," then pulls out 20 bucks and says "nice," they both look at craig as he pulls out a letter. craig reads the letter in his head, it said "WE HAVE YOUR PARENTS, THEY TELL US THEY KEEP THE MONEY UNDER THER BED. BRING $10 000 TO THE RANDAVOU POINT OR THEY WILL BE KILLED. YOU DIDN'T TAKE US SERIOUSLY LAST TIME SO THERE IS MORE PROOF IN YOUR LUNCH." Craig throughs down the letter and pulls a finger out of his lunch. Tom and Sara look shocked, then Craig says "ugh, severed finger, again!"