Kidnapping jokes

Kidnapping is just surprise adoption.

What’s the difference between a child and someone who has been kidnapped?

One of them is a domesticated pet.

What do you call an orphan with parents?

I don't know... what?

Kidnapped. :)

What happens to chickens that get kidnapped by rapists?

They get choked.

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's fine, he woke up.

Hey, did you hear about the kidnapping?

"No."

Yeah, but then he woke up.

Hey guys,

I'm starting to think they don't have any candy in this van...

"Knock, knock.""Who's there?""Kid.""Kid who?""Kidnap you!"

Do you guys know what KFC stands for? It stands for kidnapping foster children.

"Kidnapping is just surprise adoption, congrats! You are now all my children! Just hop into the portal that leads to the Lust Ring in Hell!"

What's a kidnapper's favorite shoe? White vans.

What's the #1 rule of kidnapping prevention?

Don't get carried away!

I tried kidnapping a kid today and told him I was his dad's friend and I would take him home. He just curled up into a ball and started crying. Kidnapping must be easy.

Why did the kidnapper cross the road?

To get the kids at the playground.

I don't like the term "kidnapping." I prefer "surprise adoption."

If Jesus told you to trust everyone, that must be why there are a lot of kidnappings.

What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and the kid I kidnapped?

Isaac Newton died a virgin.

My favorite quote will always be, "Sketchy candy is better than no candy."

- One of the thousands of missing children.

Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, GET IN THE VAN!

A young boy was picked up by a strange young man who put him in his car and drove into an abandoned farm.

"This place looks scary," the kid said.

And the man replies, "I know right, I have to walk out of there alone."