Joke jokes
What do you call a suicide bomber under the water?
Answer: A bath bomb.
What do you say when you see your TV floating away at night?
"Drop it, Jamal!"
So, my friend and I were talking this time. I asked them what they would do if they ever met Rengoku. They said that they would probably like shake his hand or something, but I said I would lick his forehead. Wtf?
What's white, sticky, and better to spit out then to swallow?
Toothpaste.
My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said, "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."
Memes
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's joking.
When Kenney goes down on his mom, does he taste vegetable or fish?
Why is a wet pavement like playing music?
If you don't C sharp, you'll B flat.
Do you know what you first feel when you shoot someone?
The recoil.
My son asked me how I'm so clean, "inside out." I told him because of bleach. The next day, I found him drinking the bleach.
Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free?
My math teacher keeps telling me to find his x. It's kinda creepy.
Why did the chicken cross the road? cuz he saw a chic 😉
Enough with the Nazi jokes.
They make me führeious!
What do you call a flat-chested emo? A cutting board.
When you push your grandma out of her wheelchair and steal it.
“They see me rollin’, they hatin’.”
Why can’t Michael Jackson get within 500 meters of a school?
Cause he’s dead.
Dad: Hey son, wanna hear a joke?
Son: Sure thing, dad!
Dad: Your mother and I are getting a divorce. She found out that I was sleeping with the neighbor's dog!
Son: I don't get the joke, dad.
Dad: It's my life, son! My life is the joke.
I'm not saying you're inbred. I'm just saying you're a textbook example of why consanguineous marriage might not be the best idea.
Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can Hoe Hoe Hoe!