My girlfriend called me a "pedophile", and I said, "That's a big word for a 5-year-old."
Joke Jokes
What are a group of depressed people called?
A suicide squad.
Kid: Mum, how do you know someone is drunk?
Mum: See the four birds over there?
Kid: Huh, wait a minute.
Mum: A drunk person would see eight.
Kid: Mum, but there is only two.
I will always remember my grandfather's last words: "I'll just check if it's poisonous."
What is the smartest month?
April - No one can fool it.
what do you see in this picture look carefully im joking just look at the picture happy valentines
Did you hear the joke about the butter?
What is it?
I can’t tell you, you’ll spread it.
Why was 6 scared of 7?
Because 7 8 9.
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello on the other side.
What do you call an LGBTQ person getting grilled? LGBBQ.
I made it, DON'T COPY!!!
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome who plays basketball?
Dribble.
What's the difference between you and a fridge? The fridge doesn't moan when I put my meat in.
What do you call 4 Mexicans stuck in quick sand?
Quatro Sinco.
What's a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross country.
Did you hear about the kidnapping? Yeah, he woke up.
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store.
I said to him: "I don't think they have what you're looking for, sir."
You want to hear a dirty joke? Jonny played in the mud. You want to hear a clean joke? Jonny took a bath with bubbles. You want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was the next door neighbor.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Heads and Shoulders?
In America, planes hit the Twin Towers. In Soviet Russia, Twin Towers hit planes.
How do you think the unthinkable? With an iceberg.
Why didn't the koala make the finals? It got diskoalafied.
