Joke jokes
Why was 6 scared of 7?
Because 7 8 9.
Did you hear the joke about the butter?
What is it?
I can’t tell you, you’ll spread it.
Dad: Hey son, wanna hear a joke?
Son: Sure thing, dad!
Dad: Your mother and I are getting a divorce. She found out that I was sleeping with the neighbor's dog!
Son: I don't get the joke, dad.
Dad: It's my life, son! My life is the joke.
What do you say when you see your TV floating away at night?
"Drop it, Jamal!"
What do you call a lesbian with braces? A box cutter.
I'm not saying you're inbred. I'm just saying you're a textbook example of why consanguineous marriage might not be the best idea.
When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm, and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.
Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can Hoe Hoe Hoe!
Who was purple and wanted to rule the world?
Alexander the Grape.
What cow can part water? Mooses.
I will always remember my grandfather's last words: "I'll just check if it's poisonous."
What is the smartest month?
April - No one can fool it.
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's joking.
How many brain cells does a pregnant blonde have?
Two, one for her and one for the baby.
Me: I look up to you.
Friend: Wow, thanks!
Me: But in general cuz your so tall.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Heads and Shoulders?
What's the difference between you and a fridge? The fridge doesn't moan when I put my meat in.
What do you call 4 Mexicans stuck in quick sand?
Quatro Sinco.
At the restaurant, the waitress starts flirting with me. "She must have COVID," my wife said. "Why?" I asked. "'Cause she clearly has no taste." She responded.
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store.
I said to him: "I don't think they have what you're looking for, sir."