Two brothers play on the street. One of them finds a condom on the ground. Not knowing what it is, they go to their mum and ask what it is that they found. Mum gets mad and yells to throw that away immediately.
Guys go back to the yard, surprised why their mum got mad for just latex. One of them says: "Why did mum get so angry?" The other: "I have no idea, thankfully we did not tell her that we've eaten the yogurt inside!"
Why is a wet pavement like playing music?
If you don't C sharp, you'll B flat.
I want to thank all the sidewalks out there for keeping me off the street.
Why did the cat cross the road?
To make a catastrophy on the road.
Why did the plane cross the road? To get to the other tower.
Yo mama so fat, when she made a joke, only one person laughed at it: the pavement. It was absolutely cracking up!
What’s big and black on the road?
Are you a highway? Because I wanna lay on you.
Floor on the road?
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
Because he was trying to catch a boomerang.
Why does new pavement smell like butt?
In other words you can also call it asphalt.
Ass-phalt.
A boy sat in his bed, watching a meteor shower. He was a vengeful child and wished that his parents would no longer bother him whilst he was gaming.
The next morning, he woke up to find his mother had passed away in the night. Clearly his wish had worked. However, his father worked a midnight job, and as such the boy was very confused when he returned home from work, expecting him to have met the same fate.
The two of them then looked out the window in thought, only to find the milkman lying dead on the pavement.
A drunk walks out of a bar late at night and sees a nun walking past on the footpath. He utters something hateful to himself as he begins running, building momentum before launching himself at the nun, catching her with a massive superman punch to the back of the head, knocking her tumbling brutally to the pavement.
He proceeded with a swift kicking to the nun's ribs and spine before grabbing the nun by the scruff of her habit and lifting her limp to her feet till face to face. Looking the nun dead in her eyes with menace, the drunk victoriously growled, "You're not so bloody tough tonight, are ya, Batman?"
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Because chickens are mindless creatures and do not know any better.
On my signal, I would like you to drive onto the pavement (sidewalk) and run over my ex-wife.
