ISIS jokes

I saw an ISIS video and I got the theme stuck in my head. I was humming it the next day at work when my Arab co-worker said, "soon, my brother."

What makes an ISIS joke funny?

The execution.

I joined ISIS to help my self-esteem issues.

Everyone kept telling me, "You’re the bomb!"

What's the difference between a Syrian kindergarten and an ISIS hospital?

I wouldn't know, I'm just the drone operator.

What did the terrorist do when his kidneys failed?

Dial-ISIS!

Q. What do they call an ISIS terrorist who owns both a camel and a goat?

A. Bisexual.

Jokes about ISIS are all about the execution.

Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?

A. He marks the camels that kick.

What is the difference between an Isis training camp and a school?

Not sure, I just fly the drone.

What's the difference between an ISIS militant base and a Pakistani children's school?

I don't know, I just fly the drone.

ICE and ISIS have similar first syllables. Coincidence? I think not!

I got kicked out of flight school, so I decided to learn from the experienced pilots (Isis).

ISI?

ISIS recently brought out a new shampoo.

Head and Shoulders!

ISIS recently brought out their own shampoo: HEAD AND SOLDIERS.

ISIS is the mark of the beast.

What's the difference between a school and an ISIS military base? Don't ask me, I only fly the drone.

I talked to a future suicide bomber. I told him, "ISIS ain't got sh** on me because I planted a bomb and lived."

Hey Siri, where is my dad?

Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.

HAH, jokes on you! My dad’s in the kitchen!

Your mom’s husband is in the kitchen, your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.

...WhAT-

Teacher tests Little Johnny, “OK, Johnny, create a sentence which starts with ‘I’.”

Little Johnny confidently starts, “I is...”

Teacher snaps, “No, Little Johnny. You must always say, ‘I am’.”

Little Johnny sighs, “Yes ma’am. ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’”

"You have to be more patient!" "Will it take a long time?"