Joke jokes

Do you have a shovel? Because I'm digging that ass.

What do alcoholics and necrophiliacs have in common?

They both like cracking open a cold one.

What's the best way to get gum out of your hair?

Cancer.

what do you call a flat road named after George Floyd?

Flat neck road.

Lemme treat you like I treat my homework: slam you on my desk and do you all night.

I saw a fat dude wearing a shirt that said "guess." I said 215kg, he didn't find it as funny.

My mom asks, "How did you do this?" Me: "Naw, I did it with a fork. WHAT D'YA THINK?-"

What do you call Adolf Hitler in a pool? Adolfin.

Kid: "Dark humor is like a mother's love."

Orphan: "How?"

Kid: "You wouldn't know."

Orphan: "........."

Why was the orphan so successful? Because once someone told him "go big or go home," and he only had one option.

After a suicide joke say, "Don't leave me hanging, or I'll cut it out."

They always say you are what you eat! So I’d be nothing. That sounds about right.

Why was the Tower of Pisa always leaning?

Cuz it wanted better accuracy than the Twin Towers.

Don't worry about missing a shot after yelling "Kobe". He didn't make it either.

I realized that a really bad joke and my life are the exact same thing.

How many brain cells does a pregnant blonde have?

Two, one for her and one for the baby.

Alyas' dad died, that's comedy. Something not funny is like BLM.

What did the panther say at the Poker Party? "I would be lion if I said I was a cheetah."

Me: Stepping on a scale to weigh myself.

Everyone else in the minefield...

What's an astronaut's favorite candy? A Milky Way!