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Joke Jokes
How many brain cells does a pregnant blonde have?
Two, one for her and one for the baby.
Alyas' dad died, that's comedy. Something not funny is like BLM.
What's an astronaut's favorite candy? A Milky Way!
bully: "Your life's a joke."
me: "My life's not a joke, jokes have meaning."
What did the panther say at the Poker Party? "I would be lion if I said I was a cheetah."
I realized that a really bad joke and my life are the exact same thing.
Me: Stepping on a scale to weigh myself.
Everyone else in the minefield...
Why did the skeleton want a friend? He was feeling bonely.
A grasshopper jumps into a bar.
The bartender says, "We've got a drink named after you."
The grasshopper says, "Seriously? Why would you name a drink Callum?"
Why'd the chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the gay (guys/girls) house.
(Wait awhile) then ask “knock knock?” Other person says “Who’s there?”
A: The chicken.
What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit?
A DEPPression.
(If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke).
What do alcoholics and necrophiliacs have in common?
They both like cracking open a cold one.
Knock knock. Who's there? Parents. Parents who? That's what an orphan would say.
I showed my girlfriend my taser. She was stunned.
I was driving and accidentally hit a crippled kid. They were still breathing, so I told them to walk it off.
What makes an ISIS joke funny?
The execution.
What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke? Timing.
What do you call a crowd of horny white women?
A field of cotton waiting to be picked.
Do you have a shovel? Because I'm digging that ass.
