Joke jokes
There were three people on the third floor of a building. The first one took a bite of an apple, then said it was too hard, so he threw it out the window. The second person took a bite of a lemon. He said it was too sour, so he threw it out the window. The third guy was drunk. He took a bite of a grenade and thought it was too crunchy, so he threw it out the window.
Then one of them went downstairs. He saw a dog laying on the ground dead. The apple had hit the dog in the head. Then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap. It had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head. Next, there was an old guy laughing. I asked him why he was laughing. He said, "I farted and the building behind me blew up."
What did the Indian boy say to his mother as he left for school? -- "Mumbai!"
What is brown and sticky?
A stick.
So Stephen Hawking walked into a bar - just kidding.
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you?
Take her wheelchair, she'll come crawling back.
A Down syndrome kid asks for an ice cream. The man asks, "Do you want sauce on it?"
The kid says, "It doesn’t matter, I’m going to drop it anyway!" 😂😂😂
What do you call a person with Down syndrome in a bathtub?
Vegetable soup.
How can you surprise someone who is blind?
Leave a plunger in the toilet.
What’s green and yellow and eats at your nuts?
Gonorrhea.
What do you call two gay Irishmen?
Patrick Fitz Gerald, and Gerald Fitz Patrick.
What do alcoholics and necrophiliacs have in common?
They both like cracking open a cold one.
I showed my girlfriend my taser. She was stunned.
What's the best way to get gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
Why was the Tower of Pisa always leaning?
Cuz it wanted better accuracy than the Twin Towers.
A kid in a wheelchair got hurt yesterday. I got detention yesterday because I told him to walk it off.
Knock knock. Who's there? Parents. Parents who? That's what an orphan would say.
What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke? Timing.
Do you have a shovel? Because I'm digging that ass.
I don't understand why people get offended by incest jokes; they're so family friendly.
What’s the difference between dark jokes and cotton?
Some people don’t pick it.