Do you know what you first feel when you shoot someone?
The recoil.
Joke Jokes
Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free?
How do necrophiles get consent? A ouija board.
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's joking.
When you push your grandma out of her wheelchair and steal it.
“They see me rollin’, they hatin’.”
So, my friend and I were talking this time. I asked them what they would do if they ever met Rengoku. They said that they would probably like shake his hand or something, but I said I would lick his forehead. Wtf?
What's white, sticky, and better to spit out then to swallow?
Toothpaste.
A leaf and a depressed kid fall from a building. Which hits the ground first?
The leaf, the rope stops the depressed kid.
Enough with the Nazi jokes.
They make me führeious!
What do you call a suicide bomber under the water?
Answer: A bath bomb.
Why can’t Michael Jackson get within 500 meters of a school?
Cause he’s dead.
Nah c'mon guys, we don't let jokes like this fly around here.
I'm not saying you're inbred. I'm just saying you're a textbook example of why consanguineous marriage might not be the best idea.
When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm, and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.
Q: What comes before 47?
A: AK
Dad: Hey son, wanna hear a joke?
Son: Sure thing, dad!
Dad: Your mother and I are getting a divorce. She found out that I was sleeping with the neighbor's dog!
Son: I don't get the joke, dad.
Dad: It's my life, son! My life is the joke.
What cow can part water? Mooses.
Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can Hoe Hoe Hoe!
Who was purple and wanted to rule the world?
Alexander the Grape.
Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? - Everywhere.
