Joke jokes
What do you call an Afghan in the bath? A bath bomb.
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys? He was playing by ear.
What would fall out of a tree first, a depressed person or a feather?
Answer: The feather wouldn't. The rope would stop the person from falling all the way.
What did the rope say to my depressed ass?
~ Hey, you wanna hang?
Did you hear about the light bulb party? Yeah, it was pretty lit!
What does Mrs. Grapes 🍇 love the most?
Raisin' kids.
What was the one word that could have saved Princess Diana's life?
Taxi.
Q: How do you know a wishing well works?
A: If your mother-in-law falls down it.
What does a penis and a Rubik's cube have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What's the difference between necrophilia and a choking fetish? 15 seconds.
Why don't you ever see hippos hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it.
My wife left me for an Indian guy. I know he's going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.
So we were working with a new client at work, and my boss farts. He said, "A little gas never killed anyone."
What do you call an LGBTQ person getting grilled? LGBBQ.
I made it, DON'T COPY!!!
Kid: Mum, how do you know someone is drunk?
Mum: See the four birds over there?
Kid: Huh, wait a minute.
Mum: A drunk person would see eight.
Kid: Mum, but there is only two.
My friend and I were joking about a kid in a wheelchair, and another kid came up and said to the wheelchair kid, "You should stand up for yourself."
Me: Wanna hear a joke about my chin?
Friend: Nah, dude. It'll be too long.
My grandma asked me if I could visit her.
I told her no, I don’t like graveyards.
Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? - Everywhere.
I'd tell a necrophilia joke, but they've been done to death.