Joke jokes
My wife left me for an Indian guy. I know he's going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.
What do you call a cow jumping over barbed wire? Utter destruction.
What does a penis and a Rubik's cube have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 is a registered 6 offender.
Q: What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A: A battery has a positive side.
Found a good definition of the jokes here while listening to Without Me by Eminem
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
"Windows 10 shutting down."
What's the difference between necrophilia and a choking fetish? 15 seconds.
Why do short people laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
So I didn't want my mom going through my laptop, so I put a touch screen on it where you just have to tap the screen to unlock it. Jokes on her, she doesn't have any fingers.
What does Mrs. Grapes 🍇 love the most?
Raisin' kids.
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys? He was playing by ear.
What do you call an Afghan in the bath? A bath bomb.
Autistic jokes have been very popular recently. In other words, I've been very popular recently.
Did you hear about the light bulb party? Yeah, it was pretty lit!
Q: How do you know a wishing well works?
A: If your mother-in-law falls down it.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I cut up onions.
What would fall out of a tree first, a depressed person or a feather?
Answer: The feather wouldn't. The rope would stop the person from falling all the way.
What did the rope say to my depressed ass?
~ Hey, you wanna hang?
I met this girl at a bar and started doing her from behind. Everything was great until she turned and said, "My turn!"
Why don't you ever see hippos hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it.