Irony jokes

Ironic that this page is dead.

Why is Jeffrey Epstein so bad at races?

Because he comes in a little behind.

How are boobs and toys similar?

Both were originally made for kids, but dads usually end up playing with them.

A priest is struck by lightning and lays hurt on the ground.

When medical crew arrives he denies them, saying, "God will surely save me!"

The medical team tries to help him, but he keeps struggling and eventually dies.

Later in the afterlife, he screams at God, saying, "Why didn't you save me? Am I not dear to you?"

God answered, "B****, I sent you a f***ing ambulance and you denied it!"

My aunt's star sign was Cancer, so it's pretty ironic how she died...

She was eaten by a giant crab.

22. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.

31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.

Haha, my life is a joke, but it ain't funny.

I'm so poor that when robbers break into my house,

they bring me things. <_>

Someone forgot to do half the questions in the history test.

And that's what made him go down in history.

90% of women don't like men in pink shirts. Ironically, 90% of men in pink shirts don't like women.

Police officers hope you’re a criminal.

Doctors hope you get sick.

Mechanics hope you get car troubles.

But only thieves wish you prosperity.

Weird?

Life is karma... because I was born, God gifted me with social awkwardness, sh*t athletic skills, and stupidity.

My grandfather said that I was too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and cut him off life support.

Whoever invented the knock-knock joke should get a "no bell" prize.

Three years ago my doctor told me I was going deaf. I haven't heard from him since.

The only thing funnier than the shooting of that healthcare CEO is imagining the look on his wife's face when she got the hospital bill.

Why was the Chinese laundry joke not funny? It had no irony.

My sister said I'm stupid today, and she's the one who wrote this.

Wanna hear a joke? It's called me :|

I'm what they call a ✨️askhole✨️.

A person who will consistently ask for your advice and wisdom, but then proceed to do the exact opposite of what you say.