Irony jokes
Whoever invented the knock-knock joke should get a "no bell" prize.
Why was the Chinese laundry joke not funny? It had no irony.
My therapist said, "Time heals all wounds," so I cut her.
“Life is going swimmingly,”
“Tell that to Whitney Houston.”
My sister said I'm stupid today, and she's the one who wrote this.
I'm what they call a ✨️askhole✨️.
A person who will consistently ask for your advice and wisdom, but then proceed to do the exact opposite of what you say.
An orphan walked up to St. June's Family Hospital.
Doctor: "Sorry kid, you can't be in here."
I went to help an amputated girl, but she didn't have a hand for me to grab.
Kobe: "Don't crash!"
Helicopter: *Crashes*
How ironic is this?! I was playing Jenga before the first plane hit the Twin Towers.
They say that bad things happen to good people.
So if you get run over by a car just know you're a good person.
Wanna hear a joke? It's called me :|
I'm the joke, bitch.
What's something you shouldn't tell a paraplegic that's being confronted by a bully?
Just walk away.
When does Stephen Hawking cross the road?
When it says "DON'T WALK."
What is the best way to run away from home?
Join the military.
What idiot said to Stephen Hawking, "You can't run before you can walk"?
How did Steven Hawkings die?
His wife tripped over his charging plug when he was at 2% battery.
Don't tell me to accept trannies for who they are when they can't even accept themselves for who they are.
Are you a bullet?
*gets shot*