Irony jokes

When they say you live by the sword, you die by the sword, not in Paul Walker's case. He lived by the car, died by a tree. Well, I guess the car was stumped.

What's worse than having an honorary degree from Harvard? Being homeless and having an honorary degree from Harvard.

Depressed people have beautiful smiles. Okay, it's not a joke for normal people, but it's a joke for us.

One day at school, I made fun of a girl who lost her hair from cancer, and my parents made me shave my head.

The next day at school, I made fun of an orphan.

Sorry, I don't have a joke here... Just wondering how idiots end up here complaining about offensive jokes when you ended up here. You had to click that section on purpose, right? If you can't take it, piss the fuck off... If I'd be gay and I'd look up gay jokes and get offended... how stupid is that?

There's 3 things I hate.

1. Jokes

2. Lists

3. Irony.

I threw a lamp at a depressed kid. I was just trying to brighten up his day.

I am whooping my doge's a$$. If you like, you can free him.

What is one good thing about pedophiles?

They drive slow in the school zone.

What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?

Fast food.

You want a joke? My entire existence.

Hey, wanna hear a joke?

Yeah, me too.

Roses are red, Get on the ground, Gimme your stuff, Get ready to drown!

Can't wait for the orphans to have their family reunion! Wait...

Someone at my school the other day said that whoever killed Hitler was a hero. Who's going to tell him?

I don't know why we have to make jokes about this, it's already a joke.

To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket: you can hide, but you can’t run.

Recently, I've found out my wife has been cheating on me for the past 3 weeks with a baker downtown in Manhattan, New York, thinking I wouldn't find out. Irony of it all, she received a yeast infection.

I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do not read it.

It's quite ironic that people tell you "Happy Birthday," then they want to give you a spanking.