Irony jokes

The irony of metal jokes is pretty fun. But it leads to a lot of people stealing them.

I was sad, so I called the depression hotline. Turns out the depression hotline is where people roast you until you are depressed.

So, a guy walks into a bar, and he tells the bartender, "After this last drink, I'm going to the roof to kill myself." A guy sitting next to him says, "I wouldn't do that if I were you." in which the man replies, "Oh yeah?" So, they both take their shots and go up to the roof. The guy says, "You're not gonna die, watch this!" He jumps off the roof and comes back up. The man rubs his eyes and tells him to go it again. He comes down and comes back up. The man says, "Cool, let me try!" and he jumps down only to kill himself. The guy goes back to the bar, and the bartender says, "Superman, you're an asshole."

I'm American, and I'm sick of people saying America is "the stupidest country in the world." Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world.

Ha! It asked me to submit a joke, but then I realized I'm the joke.

Depressed people have beautiful smiles. Okay, it's not a joke for normal people, but it's a joke for us.

One day at school, I made fun of a girl who lost her hair from cancer, and my parents made me shave my head.

The next day at school, I made fun of an orphan.

There's 3 things I hate.

1. Jokes

2. Lists

3. Irony.

What is one good thing about pedophiles?

They drive slow in the school zone.

I am whooping my doge's a$$. If you like, you can free him.

I threw a lamp at a depressed kid. I was just trying to brighten up his day.

Hey, wanna hear a joke?

Yeah, me too.

Roses are red, Get on the ground, Gimme your stuff, Get ready to drown!

You want a joke? My entire existence.

Sorry, I don't have a joke here... Just wondering how idiots end up here complaining about offensive jokes when you ended up here. You had to click that section on purpose, right? If you can't take it, piss the fuck off... If I'd be gay and I'd look up gay jokes and get offended... how stupid is that?

Can't wait for the orphans to have their family reunion! Wait...

Recently, I've found out my wife has been cheating on me for the past 3 weeks with a baker downtown in Manhattan, New York, thinking I wouldn't find out. Irony of it all, she received a yeast infection.

Someone at my school the other day said that whoever killed Hitler was a hero. Who's going to tell him?

How are boobs and toys similar?

Both were originally made for kids, but dads usually end up playing with them.

I don't know why we have to make jokes about this, it's already a joke.