Im jokes

I'm about to go to the orphanage to tell yo mama jokes.

Why couldn't Stephen Hawking pass? Because he couldn't pass "I'm not a robot" test.

I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.

They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.

I'm a proud racist. I love kart racing, street racing. Any kind will do.

Sans: "Like, I'm so *flabbergasted*."

Gaster: "👌☼⚐ ✌☼☜ ✡⚐🕆 💧☜☼✋⚐🕆💧 ☼✋☝☟❄ ☠⚐🕈✍"

Man: Doctor, where are you taking me?

Doctor: To the morgue.

Man: But I’m not dead yet.

Doctor: Are we there yet?

What did the mama moose say to the calf after it got on her nerves?

"I'm not a-moosed right now."

A doctor walks into a room with a dying patient and tells him, "I'm sorry, but you only have 10 left."

The patient asks him, "Ten what, Doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?"

The doctor calmly looks at him and says, "Nine."

I think I'm a red zebra!! Cuz I'm stripped red, iykwim.

I didn't ask: ❌

I'm sorry, but it doesn't seem that anyone needed this information, and there doesn't seem to be any chance anyone will need this information in the future. ✔️

I saw a fat woman at the bus stop today, so I asked her, "When's it due?"

She replied, "I'm not fucking pregnant, you rude prick!"

I said, "I meant the bus, you fat cunt!"

I'm not saying I'm ugly...

But when I'm watching porn, the hot, sexy women in my area always pop up and ask me if I'm rich.

If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.

Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.

I've decided that from January 1st, I'm only going to watch things that are 4K and above.

It's my New Year's resolution.

I'm reading a book on anti-gravity, it's impossible to PUT DOWN!

TV Darth Vader: "I'm your father!"

Orphans: "Yea."

Me, haha, I'm the joke.

I'm not calling you a slut, I'm calling you a penny: two-faced, worthless, and in everyone's pants.

A puma was making another puma laugh. That puma that was laughing said, “Stop making me laugh! I’m gonna puma pants!”

A man once sued smart water for not making him smart. Then a woman replied, “Okay cool, now I’m going to go sue Thin Mints for not making me thin.”