Pole

Pole Jokes

Mom

Kid: Are you gay?

Me: No, I'm straighter than the pole your mom dances on.

Man

A man walks into a bar.

Then he walks into a Pole.

Then the Pole says, "I surrender, Heil Hitler!"

School shooting

A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat. He is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with, "What do you mean? I already did it." Then the police ran back to the school to apprehend the other people he was planning it with. The cops busted in through the doors, which caused a smoke trap to go off, which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear, the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles, 4 per pole. Back at the station, holding the kid being apprehended, the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said, "Aww, it pays to be lazy!"

Underwear

One day you see a girl climb a pole and ask her, "Why are you climbing that pole?" "Because a boy paid me to." "He did that to see your underwear." "Oh. Ok."

The next day you see her do the same thing. "Why are you doing the same thing?" "Well, I got him this time. I did not wear underwear."

People

I took a pole today. 100% of the people in the tent were unhappy that it collapsed.

Comeback

Well, if someone ever calls you gay ๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ, just say, "Well, at least I'm straighter than the pole your mommy dances on." ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ–•

Failure

My dad told me I'm a failure.

I failed a math test.

Good thing there's a pole outside my house.

Mom

You're gay.

Bro, I am straighter than the pole that your mom dances on for me every night.

Bar

A man walks into a bar and ends up with a concussion.

Maybe if he looked where he was going, he wouldnโ€™t have hit that pole.

Dream

Last night I had a dream about fishing poles, turns out it wasn't reel!

Friend

My friend said to me that I am gay. My response? Iโ€™m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night.

Sex

The tent pole is up, The canvas is spread, The hell with breakfast, Come back to bed.

Take the tent pole down, Put the canvas away, The monkey had a hemorrhage, No circus today.

Guy

Guy is at athletic meet. Asks guy if he is a pole vaulter.

He replies, "No I am German and how did you know my name was Walter?"

Water

Why can't you get water in the North Pole?

Because there is no well.

Russia

It looks like Kevin Magnussen finally got pole position.

He has the bragging rights that he took over Russia now.