Garden jokes
Q: What's the best part about gardening?
A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
Why did the ass start a gardening service?
It was great at dropping SEEDS.
Why did the rapper become a gardener?
Because he wanted to GROW his fan base.
Gnome.
What do you call a vegan slut?
A garden ho!
bro wtf is tihs ad
Why did the rapper start gardening?
He wanted to get more ROOTS in his rhymes.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in!
Adam and Eve are wondering whether they are black or white. Eve says, "Why don't you go and ask God?"
So Adam goes into the Garden of Eden and shouts out to God, "Are we black or white?" A big booming voice bellows out, "You are what you are."
He immediately goes back to Eve and tells her that they are white. "How do you know?" asks Eve. "Because he said, 'You are what you are,'" Adam replied. "Why does that mean we are white?" asked Eve. "Because if we were black, He would have said, 'You is what you is.'"
What is the only thing lesbians know how to grow? Cucumbers.
What did Eve say to Adam?
"That is rock hard."
Why do women love wind chimes?
They vibrate.
What is long, hard, and has cum in it?
A cucumber.
Why did the rapper start a gardening business?
He had mad ROOTS in the game.
I wish the grass in my backyard was emo.
So it can cut itself.
Fella walks past a mental hospital; they're all out in the garden behind this big fence, all shouting "13, 13, 13, 13," etc., over and over again.
This fella is intrigued, sees a little hole in the fence, looks through it... gets fucking poked straight in the eye!
Then they all start singing, "14, 14, 14, 14, 14, 14!"
My daughter came home from school later than usual. I was panicking, then at 5:30 p.m. she arrived, not walking but in a bus 🚌. I asked, "Where the hell did this bus come from?" She said, "The garage in the alleyway, Mama. I bought it for five gummies and eight buttons. You like her? She is called Belle Bus." My face was just: 😑 How did you get the bus here? She replies with a whisper, "I drove her through five gardens, a house, and two police cars!" 🙃 So that explains why you have handcuffs on. "Yeah!"
I'm thinking of getting a job as a gardener--pushing up the daisies!
What did Santa use as a candy cane?
Wait, wait, I said it wrong.
Okay.
What did Santa use to do his garden...never mind.
If you were a vegetable, you would be a cute-cumber.
Why did the carrots laugh?
They saw Mrs. Green Pea over the fence.