Im jokes

Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."

*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"

Cashew, see, I'm nuts about you!?

Apparently I'm not allowed home after house fires, but the neighbors, their house burnt lovely.

I have a joke about construction.

I'm still working on it.

Bye, I'm Paul Badman. Did you know that you don't have rights? The Articles of Confederation say you don't, and so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every woman, man, and adult in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Santa Fe!

Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.

The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"

Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."

The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"

Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."

I ran into a kid today. Now I'm in jail and I lost my driver's license.

Why will the orphan never say, "Honey, I'm home?"

No one wants him, not even the bees.

My teacher says no phones allowed. I say my phone is allowed because I’m nobody, Dania.

I'm emo, by the way.

I'm so glad I am not gay. It seems like a pain in the ass.

LOL.

I'm always forgetting these kinds of jokes. I also forgot my son's name.

A farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm and says, "This is the pig I'm fucking." She says, "You idiot, that's a sheep!" He says, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."

A farmer artificially impregnated a cow. The cow said to another cow, "It's a miracle, I'm pregnant." The other cow said, "That's impossible, it's only us cows in the field, you must be joking." The first cow said, "Nope, I'm serious... no bull!"

I want some cheeseburgers just to eat. I'm talkin' ketchup. My n***a mustard on that BEAT!

Q: What did the stop light say to the other stop light?

A: Stop looking, I’m changing!

A doctor walks into his office and looks his patient in the eyes, "Sir, you have to stop jerking off."

The man asks, "Why?"

The doctor then says, "Because I'm trying to examine you."

So I'm reading Hamlet, right? And then this one page they like, "Yo, like, Hamlet the fuck t tgo foff off KING speak, yo" 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 truth ong fr 😂 Face with thing is funny or... 😂 😂 😂 😂 the

Go up to someone and say, "I'm sorry for your loss," and see what they do.

I’m about to go to the orphanage to say yo mama jokes.