Hey, I’m not an alcoholic! I only drink 2 times a year. When it’s my Birthday, and when it’s not...
Twice-a-Year Drinker
Explanation
Explain Bear
Listen here, you knucklehead. The joke is that this bozo claims he's not an alcoholic because he "only" drinks on his birthday and on days that aren't his birthday. Get it? So, like, every day. Now go back to drooling.