Im jokes

I'm about to go to the orphanage to tell yo mama jokes.

A puma was making another puma laugh. That puma that was laughing said, “Stop making me laugh! I’m gonna puma pants!”

Puns about air conditioning. I'm not a fan.

We have some leak in the fridge. I'm surprised nobody has called a plumber.

I got a new job at a trampoline park the other day. If I’m being honest, it’s got its ups and downs.

A man once sued smart water for not making him smart. Then a woman replied, “Okay cool, now I’m going to go sue Thin Mints for not making me thin.”

Skedaddle skedoodle, I'm gonna go beat my noodle.

I saw a fat woman at the bus stop today, so I asked her, "When's it due?"

She replied, "I'm not fucking pregnant, you rude prick!"

I said, "I meant the bus, you fat cunt!"

Little Johnny: Hey, Dad, are you finally back with the milk?

Dad: Yea, but it's expired, so I'm going back to the "milk store" and get more (and not come back for a couple more years). :)

Roses are red, Obama is well spoken, I'm sorry sir, but the ice cream machine is broken.

Popular girl: Sorry I'm late.

Teacher: Why are you late!

Girl: I need my beauty sleep.

Nerd: Well, you might need to hibernate because you ain't pretty.

Roses are red, violets are blue,

I’m sorry you look like my old beat up shoe.

Even if orphans fail their exams, I'm sure their parents wouldn't...

Oh wait...

I think I'm colorblind. News came out of purple.

Hello, everybody, it's me, Mariplier, and today I'm going to be balling at Freddy's!

Me, haha, I'm the joke.

TV Darth Vader: "I'm your father!"

Orphans: "Yea."

I'm not saying I'm ugly...

But when I'm watching porn, the hot, sexy women in my area always pop up and ask me if I'm rich.

Some people say I'm rude, but I think I'm pretty nice because the other day I saw this kid crying on the road and I asked him where his parents were. I just love looking at an orphanage.

Bro, I’m so pissed. There is always that one kid in the class who the teacher helps. I hate that guy in the wheelchair.