Im jokes

They say if Viagra lasts more than four hours, call the doctor? I’m just wondering, it’s been six hours and I’m still hard, should I call the doctor or hop on another woman?

Follow me.

I heard a noise, so I'm dead.

What's the difference between me and a depressed kid? At least I'm out of the grave.

Are you free tomorrow?

No, I’m expensive, sorry. 💵💸

I'm all panic and no disco.

I'm still wondering who took Jesus' sandals.

Even the one who ate that dove that sat at Jesus' shoulder. 🤔

I was going to make a 9/11 joke, but I'm afraid it will crash and burn.

Someone asked me if I was a good sleeper. I told them I'm so good that I can do it with my eyes closed.

I'm like a teddy bear. I don't like to be fucked.

Roses are red, violets are blue, My heart is dead, I’m such a fool.

Every time someone calls you a little different, car? Just say, "No, I'm not."

I tried my best to think of some puns, but I'm gonna have tibia honest: I don't have any puns left, but I'm pretty sternum, so I'll think of a few puns here and there. It took a lot of spine to do this.

How about that airplane food? I eat it when I'm high.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I thank God I'm not as ugly as you.

A hobo couple is making out under a bridge.

The girlfriend goes: - Johnny, why is your dick so soft? - Flip me over, I’m trying to shit!

I’m rather relaxed about death.

From quite an early age, I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.

My girlfriend said to me, "Dear, I think you have hit an animal, there's blood and dents all over the bonnet."

I said, "No, love, I'm not waiting for a Black Lives Matter rally."

I'm not transphobic. I just want transparency...

I'm at school and this website isn't blocked, and I need help on who did 9/11?

My mom told me to recycle the trash. I guess I’m taking you for another bike ride!