Im jokes

There's 3 words in important: I'm, port, ant.

Stephen Hawking's least favorite song is "I'm Still Standing."

Why do orphans like Darth Vader?

So he can say, "I'm your father!"

Hey, my sister said you're Mattick, so I decided to swim with her and she threw a ball at me, so I went to my dad and she said, "Why did you tell dad?" She was crying because I’m not getting a car seat.

My dog stepped on a bee, My child spilt my tea, I drank my hot tea, I broke my bloody knee, Now I'm lying in agony, And I'm devastated with no glee.

(Again, credits to my really funny friend)

Follow me.

I heard a noise, so I'm dead.

This is not a joke, Tom. I'm asking you to leave me alone, stop being sexual, I don't like you.

Are you free tomorrow?

No, I’m expensive, sorry. 💵💸

A TikTok I saw: "I'm in Canada, I'm in the United States!"

Most people: "I'm in South Korea, I'm in Nor- *boom*"

Me: "I'm in Palestine, I'm in Is... this heaven?"

*Insert me starting a war in the comments*

I'm all panic and no disco.

I'm still wondering who took Jesus' sandals.

Even the one who ate that dove that sat at Jesus' shoulder. 🤔

"Wubba Lubba Dub Dub" is one way to describe how my inner child acts, but yesterday I killed them. Now I hear "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," I’m drowning in the tub.

What's the difference between me and a depressed kid? At least I'm out of the grave.

Your mama so fat when she steps on the scale, the scale said, "I'm trying to get your weight, not your phone number!"

Wanna hear a joke?

Look in the mirror; I'm sure you'll find one there :')

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I thank God I'm not as ugly as you.

A hobo couple is making out under a bridge.

The girlfriend goes: - Johnny, why is your dick so soft? - Flip me over, I’m trying to shit!

I’m rather relaxed about death.

From quite an early age, I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.

My mom told me to recycle the trash. I guess I’m taking you for another bike ride!

A Down syndrome child is drowning, he calls for help with all of his voice: "Somebody help me!! I'm Downing!"

BA DUM TSS