Im jokes

"Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I'm not going to spread it!"

I’m trying to see things from LEO’S perspective... but I just can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

Hey, I’m George, and this is how to figure out if someone is a psychopath.

Go into someone’s search history, and find “Cuphead ship fanfic”.

Hey George, why do you have Russia x America countryhumans?

I am starting a business where I help people count. It is called making the little things count.

Is skin picking self-harm?

Cause I'm red all over without a razor.

I’m the type to join a cult unknowingly, but get too lazy to commit to it.

im njdjfnjdjdj hello

What's the similarities between the New York Jets and the World Trade Center?

They both fall in September.

I'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.

Egg shaped, dome, bowling ball lookin' ass, bald fuck with that 360 degrees ahh head, motherfucker look like a damn balloon.

Call me Kobe 'cause I'm finna use your head as a basketball and throw it at yo' parents. Mr. Clean, bootleg Saitama lookin' ass mfer. No hair? :(

I hate when people leave their cars running, especially in the summer.

I'm like, "You got Tracy Latimer in there or something?"

Freddy: I'm coming for you >:)

Me: God, no, help!

*game notification pops up with very loud sound*

"Wubba Lubba Dub Dub" is one way to describe how my inner child acts, but yesterday I killed them. Now I hear "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," I’m drowning in the tub.

Wife: Honey, I’m pregnant. Husband: Hi Pregnant, I’m dad. Wife: No, you’re not.

I'm always willing to go down on a special needs girl.

Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.

I'm a magician. Watch my closing act at the end of the rope.

Teacher on school bus, "Everybody sit down now, the bus is about to start."

Ben: "I’m not going to sit down. I don’t want to."

Teacher: "You have to, or else you have to get off the bus."

Teacher: "*stands up*"

Ben: "Then you should get off the bus 'cause you're not sitting."

Meow meow, I'm a cow and I like cum cum cum.

Your mama so fat when she steps on the scale, the scale said, "I'm trying to get your weight, not your phone number!"

Wanna hear a joke?

Look in the mirror; I'm sure you'll find one there :')