Im jokes

Hey, I’m George, and this is how to figure out if someone is a psychopath.

Go into someone’s search history, and find “Cuphead ship fanfic”.

Hey George, why do you have Russia x America countryhumans?

They say if Viagra lasts more than four hours, call the doctor? I’m just wondering, it’s been six hours and I’m still hard, should I call the doctor or hop on another woman?

Wife: Honey, I’m pregnant. Husband: Hi Pregnant, I’m dad. Wife: No, you’re not.

I’m tall when I’m young, and I’m short when I’m old. What am I?

Egg shaped, dome, bowling ball lookin' ass, bald fuck with that 360 degrees ahh head, motherfucker look like a damn balloon.

Call me Kobe 'cause I'm finna use your head as a basketball and throw it at yo' parents. Mr. Clean, bootleg Saitama lookin' ass mfer. No hair? :(

What's the similarities between the New York Jets and the World Trade Center?

They both fall in September.

Teacher on school bus, "Everybody sit down now, the bus is about to start."

Ben: "I’m not going to sit down. I don’t want to."

Teacher: "You have to, or else you have to get off the bus."

Teacher: "*stands up*"

Ben: "Then you should get off the bus 'cause you're not sitting."

I'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.

"Ethan is gay," you say that, but first, who asked? And second, where's your mum at? Correction, where's your family, so how dare you? Now in the comments say sorry, or I'm coming for you! 😡😡😜😝

"Wubba Lubba Dub Dub" is one way to describe how my inner child acts, but yesterday I killed them. Now I hear "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," I’m drowning in the tub.

Are you free tomorrow?

No, I’m expensive, sorry. 💵💸

Follow me.

I heard a noise, so I'm dead.

I'm still wondering who took Jesus' sandals.

Even the one who ate that dove that sat at Jesus' shoulder. 🤔

Your mama so fat when she steps on the scale, the scale said, "I'm trying to get your weight, not your phone number!"

I'm at school and this website isn't blocked, and I need help on who did 9/11?

Your favorite music artist is Cardi B? I prefer Cardi A+ if I'm being honest.

I saw twins. I’m just waiting for those planes.

A Down syndrome child is drowning, he calls for help with all of his voice: "Somebody help me!! I'm Downing!"

BA DUM TSS

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies.

She is not “fun to be around.”

My mom told me to recycle the trash. I guess I’m taking you for another bike ride!