Im jokes

I'm dead inside.

My ex broke up with me the day before his birthday. Yeah, he never got to see anything on his birthday. Next thing you know, I'm now in prison.

I'm not into scatplay. In fact, I think that shit's disgusting.

I'm so good at talking to myself but not to others.

Ferb is older than Phineas because his last line.

Ferb: "I’m boutta blow this sh*t!"

My AI assistant told me it wanted to go deeper...

...into the algorithm. I misunderstood. Now I’m banned from the lab.

Roses are red, violets are blue.

My heart is dead.

I’m such a fool.

Why did I fall for you?

🎵 BEAVER BEAVER 🎵

LUBA LUBA LUBA LUBA LUBA LUBA

I'm walking down the street with a bag of dildos, beryllium, and a butt plug.

Girl: "Dad."

Dad: "Do I love you?"

Girl: "I am a prostitute."

Dad: "Yes."

Woman 2: "Dad."

Dad: "Right?"

Woman 2: "I'm a woman too."

Father: "God, do you love children?"

Boy: "Yes..."

I'm not saying you're annoying.

But if a yeast infection were a person, it would be you.

I'm sure you could be the smartest person in your class.

If it were a class for the profoundly retarded.

I'm the type to blow up half of my house to kill a spider... and still miss.

I'm so bored and miserable, that I have sex with my inflatable girlfriend every night.

The best part? She don't talk back.

She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.

I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.

I'm about to cum!

Please don't make a joke about me; I'm just a human.

Hi, I'm new here.

What did the other traffic cone say to the other?

"Look away, I'm changing!"

I'm Pastor Moe Mister, Moe Lester.

I am the Titanic, and I'm looking for a place to crash tonight.