Cardi jokes

Cardi B has very long nails.

I know this isn't about glue, but here's one:

Cardi B had a sister who was obsessed with fitness. Her name? Cardi O.

I would rather be drugged and robbed by Cardi B than listen to her f***ing music.

Your favorite music artist is Cardi B? I prefer Cardi A+ if I'm being honest.

Somebody told me to type "Up" by Cardi B. So here it goes:

Up

Call me fat? You call me fat because you think that you’re pretty, but you ain’t. You’re just a musty, dusty, rusty Cardi B.

Marriage is like a deck of cards.

In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond.

By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.

Someone glued my deck of cards together. I don't know how to deal with it.

What is the easiest line to draw in the hospital?

My heartbeat.

Man: What's up?

Me: I'm annoyed.

Man: Why?

Me: I stole my gf's heart.

Man: So why are you annoyed?

Me: Everyone else in the surgery room gave me weird looks.

Why do people not play Uno with Mexicans? Because they are always stealing the green cards.