Im jokes
So I made a parody for "Me, Myself, and I." It goes like this: "Me, Myself, and I, I'm gonna drink bleach until I die!"
Son: Hi Dad, I'm Son.
Dad: Hi Son, I'm Leaving You.
Years later:
Dad still did not come back.
I'm hungry.
I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song, cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mom.
I'm doing something Stephen Hawking can't do... pressing "I'm not a robot."
Life is a bitch, and people make it worse.
This thing that I'm in ("am") is a forsaken curse (beta).
I’ll pat your breasts, pat your breasts, cos I’m a baker’s man, and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I’ll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", And then throw you in the fire cos you’re now worthless to me!
What did the math acorn say when it grew up?
"Gee-I'm-a-tree."
Roses are red, violets are bl-- oh yeah, I'm bad at jokes.
My husband left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!
"I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he says.
As a brother, I have to report my sister has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great personality.
I'm bored. If you want to friend me in Roblox, my username is Talitha95g and my nickname is talithafromamirica.
Patient: Where are you taking me, doctor?
Doctor: The morgue.
Patient: Hang on! I'm not dead yet!
Doctor: And we're not there yet!
Dad: I’m taking your toys to the orphanage.
Child: But why?
Dad: Because you’re going to need them there.
I'm in a wheelchair, right, so I've tried everything but one stand up.
It didn't work.
When the husband said "Is your ass so big?" she said "Because I am holding my shit."
I'm not going bungee jumping. I was born by broken rubber, and that's not how I'm going out.
I'm gonna eat a hell of a lot of popcorn kernels before I die just to make the cremation a little more interesting.
Sister, you're ugly.
Other sister: I'm not your reflection.
PS. Sorry if it is not funny.