Acorn jokes
What did the acorn say when it grew up?
Geometry.
(Geometry= "Gee, I'm a tree!")
What did the math acorn say when it grew up?
"Gee-I'm-a-tree."
Where do squirrels go for fun?
The acorn-ival.
rlly
How do you get a squirrel to be your friend?
Act like a nut.
A friend asked what an acorn is.
I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”
A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter, so now I am dead!" Haha, it is funny because the squirrel gets dead.
Little Johnny was playing outside and steps on a honeybee. His dad sees this and says, "I saw what you did and for that, you get no honey for two weeks." Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like honey anyway." About fifteen minutes later, Little Johnny is playing with the butterflies and rips the wings off of one. His dad bursts out and says, "I saw that, and for it you get no butter for a month." Little Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like butter anyway." Both Little Johnny and his dad go in for dinner. Johnny's mother sees a cockroach on the ground and steps on it. Little Johnny looks and smiles and says, "Do you want to tell her or should I?"
Little Johnny walks in on his grandfather smoking a cigar.
“May I smoke a cigar?” asks Johnny.
The grandpa replies, “Well, does your dick touch your asshole?”
Johnny replied, “No,” and left the room.
The next day Johnny sees his grandpa getting into a car.
“Can I drive the car?” asks Johnny.
“Does your dick touch your asshole?”
“No.”
The day after that, Grandpa sees Johnny about to eat a cookie.
“Johnny, may I have some of your cookie?” asked the grandpa.
“Does your dick touch your asshole, grandpa?”
“Yep.”
“Then go fuck yourself, this is my cookie.”
What do you call an apple that fell out of the tree?
An orphan.
