Im jokes

After every line, say “I’m a man.”

I went to the club. (I’m a man)

I met a girl. (I’m a man)

I took her to the bar. (I’m a man)

We got some drinks. (I’m a man)

I took her home. (I’m a man)

We got in bed. (I’m a man)

She whispered in my ear... (I’m a man)

A prisoner dug out of prison. He appeared in a playground. He said, "I'm free, I'm free!" A kid said, "So what? I'm four."

"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing, except at funerals.

"I'm the big man, catching the kids in my big van." - Ben 2021

A police pulls over a Mexican man trying to get into America. The Mexican man comes up with some sob story and the police say, "All right, all right ok," says the police, "I'll let you go if you can come up with a sentence that has the words green, pink, and yellow in it." The Mexican thought about it long and hard for almost 45 minutes and then the police says, "Ok ok let's hear it" after waiting impatiently. The Mexican said, "Ok ok don't rush me. I'm ready." The Mexican replied, "Ok when my phone green green, I pink it up and say Yellow!"

A man takes a boy into the woods.

Boy says:

"Mister, I’m scared, and it’s dark and cold."

The Man: "How do you think I feel? I’m walking out here alone!"

I had sex with my boss's daughter.

I didn't get fired. I'm self-employed.

Girl: Hi (flirt)

Boy: Hi? (reluctant)

Girl: I'm a cheerleader captain, I'm also single (flirt).

Boy 2: Excuse me?! He's MY MAN...

Brother: "I can hear you using the vibrator every night, I’m right here if you need help."

Sister: "That’s my f***ing electric toothbrush!"

Brother: "Oh, well the offer still stands."

Roses are red. Violets are blue. When I'm taking out the trash, I remember you.

DAD: I'm bringing your toys to the orphanage.

SON: Why?

DAD: You're going to need them.

My wife thinks I'm immature, so I told her to get out of my fort.

Make this the most liked comment!

(I'm a girl btw)

;)

You know what a big ass is. If I told you it's a fake ass, so I'm lesbo.

Has anybody else noticed that out of nowhere there are always tons of people online? It's kinda trippy if I'm being honest.

A donut is not empty inside, that was a hole in the middle. If I'm a donut, the hole used to be where I put my feeling and happiness, but people snatch it away from me.

Anyway, can someone put a hole in my physical body too? I kinda wanted to see people cry for me just like how people cry for Ace from One Piece.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down!

So, you're human, huh? Well, I'm a skeleton, so not much gets under my skin.

Dad: I’m taking your toys to the orphanage.

Child: But why?

Dad: Because you’re going to need them there.

I'm the joke, bitch.