Hygiene jokes
Why did the robber take a shower before his robbery?
So he could make a clean getaway!
A: What's the difference between a toilet and a washing basin?
B: I don't know.
A: Then I guess your house looks beautiful...
B: ...
What do bubbles get when they’re sick?
The suds.
"Look, Ma! I peed in the pool!"
Yeah, she called me "Pledge" because I knocked the dust off it.
What is brown and smelly? Is it a fart? Is it a carcass? Wrong, it's a dirty toilet.
Yo mama is so nasty that she sucked your dad's dick and came in to kiss you goodnight.
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
Yo mama is so nasty, she buys sex toys at the second-hand shop.
What did the poop say to the toilet paper? “You’re on a roll!”
What’s the difference between a baby and a beet?
Beets stain your teeth.
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
To get to the rear end.
"Number 15: Burger King foot lettuce. The last thing you want in your Burger King burger is someone's foot fungus, but as it turns out, that might be what you get."
What are the four letters you don't want to hear from a dentist?
I C D K
Why do female parachutists have to wear tampons before they jump?
So they don't whistle on the way down!
Q: What do you call a nun in a pool? A: A bath bomb.
A man in Saudi Arabia was caught stealing hand sanitiser.
The silver lining for him is that he will not need hand sanitiser anymore!
What did the toilet paper say to the other toilet paper?
"Hey, check me out! I'm on a roll!" 😂😂🤭🤭
So uh, I did this thing where I put soap on my brother's toothbrush, and then I put more on and colored it to make it look like toothpaste, and uh, he is constipated now. I AM EVIL :3
What do hockey players and Surrey girls have in common?
They both only change their pads after every third period!