Hygiene jokes
How to get 60 Translink workers? Please head out of the pool because ya'll are fat. Oh wait, didn't you poop yourself? Say sorry to your underwear while pooping as a fat Canadian Translink worker, little boy.
What can you do if you have a rotten piece of candy?
Why do Fortnite players have such good teeth?
Because they like to floss.
You got no lotion to masturbate, then you remember there's some leftover porridge in the fridge. 😌🤎😇
What are the four letters you don't want to hear from a dentist?
I C D K
Your friend took a shower and used Pantene, but I got a watermelon to keep me clean.
You're so full of shit that the toilet's jealous.
Yo mama's ass is maddddd crusty!
Two old Indian ladies out picking potatoes, one lady stops, staring at this huge potato, turning it round and round.
The other old lady says to her, "What are you doing?" She says, "These potatoes remind me of my husband's nuts."
She says, "Oh my, are they really that big?" She said, "No, they're that dirty. lololol"
How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
Give him a tampon and ask him what period it came from.
Why was the astronaut washing her hands?
She was getting ready to eat launch.
I just took an orange soda bath this morning. The next thing I knew, it turned out to be a river of Orange Crush.
Why take a nap on the toilet?
Because it's a restroom.
Bro, you teeth are so yellow that you can't brush your teeth.
If you get out of the shower clean, how does your towel get dirty?
So I heard it was important to clean your sex toys, which is why priests invented baptism I guess.
What did one toilet say to the other?
You look pretty flushed.
What did the pot say to the kettle?
"To lick the s*** spoon."
I think democracy is a scam. I love men and I love you. I love men and I love you. I love my dog. He won't sleep inside and I shitted my pants. I peed my pants. I smell bad. I took a shower and my dog was like, "Oh my god." I was like, "Oh." I was like, "Oh my god," and then I was like, "I shitted again" and he was like, "Bark bark," cause he's a dog. Thanks for listening.
I ain't shaking anyone's hand, not because of the Coronavirus... I ain't shaking anyone's hand because y'all out of toilet paper!