Hygiene jokes
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road?
It didn't want to get stuck in any more cracks!
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.
Who do you ask to wipe you? Your butler!
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm in your apple!
ISIS recently brought out their own shampoo: HEAD AND SOLDIERS.
My brother said, "Bruh, why you so ugly plus why do you stink?" Me: "Is that supposed to be a roast? I got one for you. Why do you look like you came out the wrong side of your mother? Instead of her stomach, you came out of her butt. That's why you were born with brown spots on your head. That's her poop, you stupid fuckface." My friends: "Ouch that's gotta hurt."
Q: What is the worst thing to hear your surgeon say?
A: Oops, I dropped my lollipop!
What’s white and sticky and better to spit out than to swallow? Toothpaste.
When recycling toilet paper, you really need to process the crap out of it.
Conversely, you can recycle a condom quite easily: just turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it.
Yo momma so stupid, she pooped in the shower.
Your hair is receding more than people do when they smell you.
Why did oozy go to the toilet to eat trains?
I ain't shaking anyone's hand, not because of the Coronavirus... I ain't shaking anyone's hand because y'all out of toilet paper!
You’re the type of person who would pee before a shower.
Why did an Indian cross the road?
To take a shit.
Are you wearing a diaper? Because your butt looks so saggy.
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger-licking good.
I told my therapist you are too fat and ugly to date grown men. Then she asked me, "You wanna give a judgemental reaction about that?" I said, "Okay, you smell rat pee on somebody's cock."
Yo mama so poop and peepee and sucks on dick.
Hey guys, I use toilet paper.