Hygiene jokes
So uh, I did this thing where I put soap on my brother's toothbrush, and then I put more on and colored it to make it look like toothpaste, and uh, he is constipated now. I AM EVIL :3
What do you call an Afghanistan person in a bath?
A bath bomb.
You're so ugly that when you walk past the toilet, it flushes itself.
Why don't pirates take a shower before walking the plank?
They just wash up on shore.
Why do Fortnite players have such good teeth?
Because they like to floss.
Sister: Why does shampoo have directions?
Me: 'Cause God made you.
Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?
A: Tell the woman not to wash down there.
How do you get a hippy pregnant?
Cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.
You should always wash your sex toys. That's why priests baptize babies.
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses.
Does it cycle now? 🚲
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose 👃, but you can't pick your friends' noses 👃 👃 👃.
Why did the baker's hands smell of shit?
He kneaded a turd.
In Alabama... How do you know your sister is having periods? Your dad's penis tastes like blood.
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
To get to the bottom.
What do hockey players and Surrey girls have in common?
They both only change their pads after every third period!
How do you turn a cat into a fish?
Tell your girl not to wash down there.
What do you call a terrorist swimming?
A bath bomb!
Why are white people so white?
Because they forgot to urine on lotion.
I've been going to the dentist for a while now, I know the drill.
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.