Hygiene jokes
What is brown and smelly? Is it a fart? Is it a carcass? Wrong, it's a dirty toilet.
How can you tell a woman's pussy is good?
You smell her fingers.
Why did the priest invent baptism?
To wash their sex toys.
What's the first rule of Wank Club?
Don't shake hands with anyone else in Wank Club.
What's the worst thing to hear in a prison shower?
"Drop the soap, we've got you surrounded."
Who is the Hamburglar's perverted cousin?
The Turdburglar.
You really do not want to see the mess these two make of the washrooms in a fast food joint.
When recycling toilet paper, you really need to process the crap out of it.
Conversely, you can recycle a condom quite easily: just turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it.
What does Meg do when she gets a cold sore?
She bathes in diarrhea.
I love your hair today.
How did you get it to come out your nose like that?
What do Indian and Jewish people have in common?
They both avoid the showers at all times.
You are so skinny, you probably wipe your butt with floss.
A man walks into a restaurant. The waitress hands him a menu and it says: "Hot dog: $2, Hamburger: $5, Blowjob: $10."
He asks the waitress, "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"
She says, "Yes, I am."
He tells her, "Good. Can you go wash your goddamn hands? Because I want a hot dog."
I wanted to make a joke about dandruff.
People are still scratching their heads over it.
What's the difference between a sidewalk, a drug dealer, and a prostitute?
A: A sidewalk's crack doesn't leave an odor!
Tork Poettschke says to Charles Bukowski: "You have beautiful teeth! Are they also available in white?"
What do you call a Muslim guy in a bathtub?
A bath bomb 💣
I'm not saying you're annoying.
But if a yeast infection were a person, it would be you.
What's the difference between a hipster and a hockey player? A hockey player changes his pads every third period.
Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
So you can tell them apart from the feminists.
Why do lesbians get their belly button pierced?
So they have a place to hang the air freshener.