Hygiene jokes

What does Michael Jackson like to use to clean himself? Baby wipes.

What are Michael Joseph Jackson's favorite songs? "Baby Love" and "Baby Talk to Me."

Yo Momma so hairy, she has to shampoo her armpits.

Roses are red, I need a broom, I just shit all over the bathroom.

What disease do you get from shoving a dirty, rusty piece of metal up your ass? Tetanus.

I'm not into scatplay. In fact, I think that shit's disgusting.

I got knob cheesed after your sexy mom was on top, dry humping me on the vanilla-coloured living room carpet.

ISIS recently brought out their own shampoo: HEAD AND SOLDIERS.

What do you call the inside of the ISS toilet?

Cosmic Brownies.

Do you know you’re supposed to wash your sex toys after you use them?

I guess that’s why Catholics invented baptism.

A guy is walking down the street when he almost steps in something. He looks down and says, "Looks like shit."

He crouches down and smells it, "Smells like shit."

He sticks his finger in, tastes it, "Tastes like shit."

He then smiles and says, "Well, good thing I didn't step on it!"

Little Jim's friend told him that if he farts, he will give him a tenner. Little Jim tries to fart, but he poos himself, and he is bullied until he puts the poo on the bullies' face.

You should know how important it is to wash your sex toys.

That's why priests invented baptism.

Your mama is so nasty.

She showed up to Red Lobster with her own crabs.

What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?

Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.

How do rappers keep themselves clean?

They drop SOAP BARS.

ISIS recently brought out a new shampoo.

Head and Shoulders!

How can a pimp save money in buying condoms for his stable?

Answer: Have his hoes wash and rinse them after every use.

What does the word circumcise mean?

Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.

I saw my sisters masturbating with cucumbers and hotdogs.

I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like hotdogs and cucumbers!"

There are 4 billion women on earth. Why isn't it clean yet?