Do you know you’re supposed to wash your sex toys after you use them?
I guess that’s why Catholics invented baptism.
You should know how important it is to wash your sex toys.
That's why priests invented baptism.
What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?
Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.
How do rappers keep themselves clean?
They drop SOAP BARS.
What does the word circumcise mean?
Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.
They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
If you leave your small children inside a shower with Kelly Clarkson, you're a filthy parent.
A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" the man asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on green fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!"
"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" the man asked.
"What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man.
"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty and I probably smell pretty disgusting."
The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up beer, fishing, golf and sex."
What does gum in my d*ck have in common?
Both get chewed on by little kids.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common: they should both be changed regularly... and for the same reason.
Trump and Biden didn’t get the memo.
Why did the mop lick the floor of the bathroom? Because it was so poopy.
"I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now."
If you drink hand sanitizer, does it only kill 99.9% of you?...........💀
With numerous reports of Donald Trump's odor and Kelly Clarkson's lack of hygienic habits... proof that money doesn't buy cleanliness.
Yo mama so poor that when she went to KFC, she had to lick other people's fingers.
Yo mama so disgusting, she hangs toilet paper to dry after she wiped with them.
I wanted to take a bath, but decided to leave it where it is.
What should you do to prevent dry skin? Use a towel.
What do you give the dentist of the year? A little plaque.
How do mice floss their teeth? With string cheese.
