What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his ass.
What do cannibals eat to freshen their breath?
Men toes.
Amber Heard's Morning Routine
Wake Up. Eat Breakfast. Take a Shit. Get Out of Bed.
Q. What’s white, sticky, and better to spit than to swallow?
A. Toothpaste.
So, some thieves robbed me the other day. They took everything I owned, except for the soap, towels, and deodorant. Dirty bastards.
So I caught my girlfriend masturbating with a carrot. My first reaction was "Shit, I was gonna eat that later, but now it’s gonna taste like carrots!"
What does the cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
Your breath is so bad that when Santa came to your house for your present, he brought toothpaste.
With numerous reports of Donald Trump's odour and Kelly Clarkson's lack of hygenic habits... proof that money doesn't buy cleanliness.
Why is Johnson's baby shampoo the best lubricant for anal sex?
- No more tears.
What's white, sticky, and better to spit out then to swallow?
Toothpaste.
I got in touch with my inner self today, it's the last time I use 1 ply toilet roll
You look like the 0.01 percent of bacteria the Lysol didn't kill.
I ain't shaking any ones hand, not because of the Coronavirus... I ain't shaking any ones hand because y'all out of toilet paper!
You should know how important it is to wash your sex toys. That's why priests invented baptism.
Confucius say, "man who go to sleep with itchy bum, wake up with smelly finger."
Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?
So you're the one!
My Anus smells
You look like the 0.01 percent of germs the lysol didn't kill.
Why was the homeless lady only wearing one sock?
She started her period.
