Hygiene jokes
Dirty Joke: A boy fell in the mud.
Clean Joke: He took a bath with bubbles.
Dirty Joke: Bubbles was the girl next door.
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his ass.
What do cannibals eat to freshen their breath?
Men toes.
Q. What’s white, sticky, and better to spit than to swallow?
A. Toothpaste.
Amber Heard's Morning Routine
Wake Up. Eat Breakfast. Take a Shit. Get Out of Bed.
So, some thieves robbed me the other day. They took everything I owned, except for the soap, towels, and deodorant.
Dirty bastards.
If you leave your small children inside a shower with Kelly Clarkson, you're a filthy parent.
So I caught my girlfriend masturbating with a carrot. My first reaction was "Shit, I was gonna eat that later, but now it’s gonna taste like carrots!"
Your breath is so bad that when Santa came to your house for your present, he brought toothpaste.
What does the cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
If you're gonna razor yourself, you might as well have shaving cream.
Why do tampons have strings? So you can floss your teeth when you’re done eating.
What caused Captain Hook's death?
He accidentally used the wrong hand to wipe his ass.
Is it just me, or when you wipe your ass too deep, it reminds you of your uncle? Just me?
So I heard it was important to clean your sex toys, which is why priests invented baptism I guess.
What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? The hockey player showers after 3 periods.
What do you call a Muslim guy in a bathtub?
A bath bomb 💣
Did you know that towels are the leading cause of dry skin?
With numerous reports of Donald Trump's odor and Kelly Clarkson's lack of hygienic habits... proof that money doesn't buy cleanliness.
You should know how important it is to wash your sex toys.
That's why priests invented baptism.