Healthcare jokes
Robert Smith walks into a hospital. The nurse says, "We have the cure!"
Should we go to America for treatment?
We stayed in Essen and then left.
What does a mermaid do when she gets hurt?
Goes to the nurse shark.
An orphan walked up to St. June's Family Hospital.
Doctor: "Sorry kid, you can't be in here."
What do you call a fight at a dementia unit?
A Sundown Smackdown.
This is Riley abortion clinic. Yesterday's loss is today's sauce.
Why is there no medication in Africa?
Because doctors advised, "You don't take it on an empty stomach."
Mamma mia abortion clinic!
Your loss is our sauce.
Why is there A/C in hospitals?
So the vegetables stay nice and fresh.
A 17 year old pregnant Juanita flew all the way to NY from TX to get an abortion. Initially, she was denied the procedure because she wasn't COVID boosted, but after she explained the father was religious and wanted to be involved, they quickly resolved the threat.
What does an orphan and a wheelchair have in common?
They can both be replaced.
Why can't people in Africa have medicine?
Because you cannot have pills on an empty stomach.
Why did the doctor turn the orphan down?
Because he is a family doctor.
I take back my comments on the United healthcare CEO.
Being poisoned by a nurse wouldn't be that bad of a way to die as long as the nurse diluted the potassium chloride first.
My grandfather said that I was too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and cut him off life support.
When Stephen Hawking is ill 🤮, do you take him to Curry's PC World or the doctors? 😂😂😂😂
I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"
What's the only type of abortion Republicans will never do anything to prevent?
A school shooting.
I know how to cut down on Medicare expenses.
Lock Alzheimer's patients in dog cages when they misbehave.
How does a lady with stage 3 cancer introduce herself?
"Hey y'all, I'm Diane."