Healthcare jokes
Someone lunged at me, armed with an unregistered nurse. I hit the floor.
I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and then give her blood so she can bleed more.
Welcome to youtube.com.
Where we treat our patients nicely.
Hi.
Let me just remove my finger from your bottom.
Thank you, nurse!
Q. What did the United Healthcare CEO say after he got shot? A. I don't know. I don't own a Ouija board.
The only thing funnier than the shooting of that healthcare CEO is imagining the look on his wife's face when she got the hospital bill.
Welcome to Joe's abortion clinic! No fetus can beat us! You make 'em, we take 'em!
What's better than having unprotected sex? Getting an abortion.
When you get injured 😢
When you get injured in America 😭😭😭😭💵💵💵💵💵🏩🏩🏩
Why can't Oregon go to the doctor?
Because they need parents' signature.
I always park in handicapped spaces at the hospital.
Just to test their patients.
What do you call a modern-day plague doctor? A COVID doctor.
If a person kills their counselor, does that mean that they don't need therapy anymore?
Abortion is beautiful.
My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology. I call him a hypocrite and unplug his life support. 😄😆🔥👍
What’s the best part about being a circumcision doctor?
The pay is good and you also get to keep the tips!
What's the difference between Canada and the USA?
In the USA, Trump is sitting in the Oval Office.
In Canada, he'd be sitting in the waiting room of a MAiD clinic.
My grandfather said that ppl rely on technology too much these days, so I thought about what he said and decided to unplug his life support.
What time is it when a nurse's here?
It's nurse-thirty.
What's the most expensive haircut?
Chemotherapy.