Hockey Player jokes
A lion, Johnny Depp, and a hockey player from Nashville all have one thing in common.
They're all Predators!
What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? The hockey player showers after 3 periods.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a hockey player?
A hockey player gets to shower after three periods.
What's the difference between a hipster and a hockey player? A hockey player changes his pads every third period.
What is the difference between a hipster and a hockey player?
A hockey player showers.
What do hockey players and Surrey girls have in common?
They both only change their pads after every third period!
I kicked a soccer ball at the kid in the wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.
What's a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game? Before the first period starts.
What do you call an ice skating dwarf?
A midget spinner.
After 40 years, Kobe finally learned to pass.
I was playing Mortal Kombat with my friend when he picked the fighter Pristiano Penaldo. I won and the voice didn't say "Finish him," so I couldn't do a fatality.
I was confused, but I understood that the game didn't let me finish him because he is already finished.