Hockey Player jokes
What do hockey players and cops have in common?
They both use sticks to hit something black.
What's the difference between a hipster and a hockey player? A hockey player changes his pads every third period.
What do hockey players and Surrey girls have in common?
They both only change their pads after every third period!
What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? The hockey player showers after 3 periods.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a hockey player?
A hockey player gets to shower after three periods.
Why does Adam go hockey, you might ask?
In my opinion, he shouldn't go because he is bad, but he needs the armor to protect himself from his own step-dad.
I was about to go to sleep, but then I remembered my idol has 0 G/A, and it's mid-November. Thanks, Pessi, for ruining my sleep! 🤬
I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?
She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"
To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"
Why are there a lot of whites in hockey?
It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop.
What is the difference between a hipster and a hockey player?
A hockey player showers.
A lion, Johnny Depp, and a hockey player from Nashville all have one thing in common.
They're all Predators!