Hygiene jokes
A girl and a boy were on a date. The boy kept farting. The girl asked, "What is wrong?!?". The boy replied, "Explosive diarrhea.". The girl said, "Ew".
The boy went to the bathroom, and the place exploded. The center of the explosion, the bathroom.
Shup up, transparent hairline. Look like you got splashed by some clear soap.
Why did the rapper take a bath before his concert?
To get his flow SQUEAKY CLEAN!
A: What's the difference between a toilet and a washing basin?
B: I don't know.
A: Then I guess your house looks beautiful...
B: ...
What do you call it when a girl on her period goes swimming?
A blood bath.
How can a pimp save money in buying condoms for his stable?
Answer: Have his hoes wash and rinse them after every use.
You look like the 0.01 percent of bacteria the Lysol didn't kill.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Your.
Your who?
Your hoochie coochie stinks.
Why did the Indian man refuse to use deodorant? Because he wanted to smell like his natural habitat, the shitter.
😷 👕 👖 Stay safe in Quarantine.
Today, there was a big test for Little Timmy. During the test, Timmy had to take a really huge shit. So, he rushed to the bathroom. He took a while in there.
When he was done, he realized there was no more toilet paper left. Since there was nothing around him to use, the only thing he could do was wipe with his hand. His time in the bathroom was up, and he needed to finish that test! He didn’t have time to wash his hands. So, he hurried back. The problem was, the hand he wiped with was his right hand. He used his left hand to complete the test, which made him fail. When he got home, his mother was standing there crossing her arms. “Timmy, the teacher had called and said you wrote sloppy on your test. Why is that?” Timmy replied, “Oh, it’s because I caught a leprechaun with my right hand, but if I opened it, my classmates would scare him away, so I had to use my left.” Timmy’s mother glared at him with disbelief. “Timmy, I don’t believe you. Now open your hand!” Timmy did so and opened his hand. “See, mother? I said you’d scare the shit out of him!”
Q. What’s white, sticky, and better to spit than to swallow?
A. Toothpaste.
Poooooooooooooooooooooop!
You're so poor, you use the same toilet paper every time you take a poop!
What does the starship Enterprise & toilet paper have in common?
Answer: They both circle Ur-Anus looking for Kling-Ons!
You can pick your friends and you can pick your 🤥 nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃.
Does it 🚲 🚲 🚲 cycle now?
So, some thieves robbed me the other day. They took everything I owned, except for the soap, towels, and deodorant.
Dirty bastards.
What do butts say?
"Help me, I'm getting wiped clean!"
So I caught my girlfriend masturbating with a carrot. My first reaction was "Shit, I was gonna eat that later, but now it’s gonna taste like carrots!"
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger-licking good.