Hygiene jokes
Why don't pirates take a shower before walking the plank?
They just wash up on shore.
In Alabama... How do you know your sister is having periods? Your dad's penis tastes like blood.
Nobody knows how bad you smell.
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
To get to the bottom.
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.
Memes
He probably picks hair off his dad’s dick, then probably puts it in his hair.
What do hockey players and Surrey girls have in common?
They both only change their pads after every third period!
When I get naked in the bathroom... the shower usually gets turned on!
Why couldn’t the toilet paper make it across the road?
It got stuck in a crack.
What was Stephen Hawking's shampoo?
Head and Shoulders.
When you're at school and you have to wipe your ass, but it's only one ply...
Your finger breaks through... mmm, finger lickin' good.
You're so poor, you use the same toilet paper every time you take a poop!
There was this boy. He had diarrhea, and he kept asking to go to the bathroom, but the teacher said no. Next thing you know, he pooped himself in front of the class.
You know why women wear tampons?
So the crabs could bungee jump!
I'd mop the floor with your face, but you might just mess it up more.
What did the nose say to the finger?
"Stop picking me!"
What did the kid say to the toilet?
"Did you order a number two because I got one ready for you?"
You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys. Thank you, Jesus, for creating baptism.
Poop poop poop poop poop poop pp ppppppppppppoppppppppppooooooooooooooooooooppppppppppoooooopppp children pooooooooooooooooop in diapers.
You don't usually see strap-hangers carrying newspapers these days.
But one guy with the New York Times is seen getting on a crowded F Train. He notices a single seat not taken. Suspicious, he gets closer and sniffs it out. The seat is discolored but dry. Throwing caution to the winds, he removes a section from the paper and sets it down to buffer the spot from his behind. He sits down, stretches his feet and yells out: "Try sitting on your smartphones, suckers!"