Hygiene jokes
How do you get a hippy pregnant?
Cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.
Why did the baker's hands smell of shit?
He kneaded a turd.
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses.
Does it cycle now? 🚲
In Alabama... How do you know your sister is having periods? Your dad's penis tastes like blood.
He probably picks hair off his dad’s dick, then probably puts it in his hair.
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.
Nobody knows how bad you smell.
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
To get to the bottom.
How do you turn a cat into a fish?
Tell your girl not to wash down there.
I wanted to make a joke about dandruff.
People are still scratching their heads over it.
What do hockey players and Surrey girls have in common?
They both only change their pads after every third period!
Why are white people so white?
Because they forgot to urine on lotion.
What do you call a terrorist swimming?
A bath bomb!
I've been going to the dentist for a while now, I know the drill.
I love your hair today.
How did you get it to come out your nose like that?
When you're at school and you have to wipe your ass, but it's only one ply...
Your finger breaks through... mmm, finger lickin' good.
You're so poor, you use the same toilet paper every time you take a poop!
Why couldn’t the toilet paper make it across the road?
It got stuck in a crack.
I'd mop the floor with your face, but you might just mess it up more.
There was this boy. He had diarrhea, and he kept asking to go to the bathroom, but the teacher said no. Next thing you know, he pooped himself in front of the class.