Soap

Soap Jokes

Nun

What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?

One's got hope in her soul, the other's got soap in her hole.

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  • Thief

    So, some thieves robbed me the other day. They took everything I owned, except for the soap, towels, and deodorant.

    Dirty bastards.

  • 0
  • Fun Fact

    10 Fun Facts.

    1. You can't wash your eyes with soap. 2. You can't count your hair. 3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out. 4. You just tried number 3. 5. When you did number 3, you realized it's possible, only you look like a dog. 6. You're smiling right now because you were fooled. 7. You skipped number 5. 8. You just checked to see if there is a number 5. 9. Share this with your friends to have some fun too :-)

    Jail

    Things you never want to do in jail:

    - Never piss off an inmate. - Don’t start fights with the cops. - Don’t drop the soap. - Don’t run away from the cops.

  • 3
  • End

    What goes in dry and comes out wet and has white stuff at the end?

    Trick

    1. You can't wash your eyes with soap.

    2. You can't count your hair.

    3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out.

    4. You just tried number three.

    5. When you tried number 3, you realized it was possible, only you look like a dog.

    6. You're smiling right now because you realized you were fooled.

    7. You skipped number 5.

    8. You just checked if there was a number 5.

    9. This is not my joke; all credit goes to Steps.

    Shower

    Singing in the shower is fun, until you get soap in your mouth.

    Then it's a soap opera.

    Store

    While I was out shopping, I tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me. For fun, I said, "Sorry! It's been a while since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.

    Dads are like boomerangs... I hope!

    Son: Dad, why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.

    You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.

    Difference

    Q: What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?

    A: One has hope in her soul and one has soap in her hole.

    Poem

    My version of the Roses are Red Poem in MW3:

    I thought Soap could trust you. And so did I too. So WHY IN BLOODY HELL DOES MAKAROV KNOW YOU?!

    Way

    "Jiggle balls, jiggle balls, jiggle all the way."

    "Dr. Squatch will heal the itch, and know it goes away, hey!"

    Towel

    If you get out of the shower clean, how does your towel get dirty?

    Brother

    So uh, I did this thing where I put soap on my brother's toothbrush, and then I put more on and colored it to make it look like toothpaste, and uh, he is constipated now. I AM EVIL :3