Soap jokes

Q: What do you call a clean idiot? A: Soap on a Dope.

A man was reported stealing a bar of soap from a corner store. The police concluded that he made a clean getaway.

I wish you were a soap, because I want you all over me.

Shup up, transparent hairline. Look like you got splashed by some clear soap.

When I get naked in the bathroom... the shower usually gets turned on!

How do you starve a hippie? You hide its welfare check under the soap.

You're the type of person to wash your hands after a shower.

What is the difference between a grandmother and a maid?

One is hope and the other is soap.

Why did the orphan drop the soap in prison? So he can have a prison daddy.

How do rappers keep themselves clean?

They drop SOAP BARS.

1. You can't wash your eyes with soap.

2. You can't count your hair.

3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out.

4. You just tried number three.

5. When you tried number 3, you realized it was possible, only you look like a dog.

6. You're smiling right now because you realized you were fooled.

7. You skipped number 5.

8. You just checked if there was a number 5.

9. This is not my joke; all credit goes to Steps.

If a deaf kid swears in sign language, does his mom wash his hands with soap?

My version of the Roses are Red Poem in MW3:

I thought Soap could trust you. And so did I too. So WHY IN BLOODY HELL DOES MAKAROV KNOW YOU?!

If you drop soap on the floor, is the floor clean, or is the soap dirty?

Singing in the shower is fun, until you get soap in your mouth.

Then it's a soap opera.

What's long, hard, and slimy?

A bar of soap.

Things you never want to do in jail:

- Never piss off an inmate. - Don’t start fights with the cops. - Don’t drop the soap. - Don’t run away from the cops.

So, some thieves robbed me the other day. They took everything I owned, except for the soap, towels, and deodorant.

Dirty bastards.

What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?

One's got hope in her soul, the other's got soap in her hole.

What goes in dry and comes out wet and has white stuff at the end?