Hygiene jokes
What’s the difference between KFC and a woman on her period?
One is finger-licking good, and the other is just a fast-food restaurant.
My mom wanted me to brush my hair.
And I just told her that even pet animals don't like their hair brushed...
If you leave your small children inside a shower with Kelly Clarkson, you're a filthy parent.
The other day all those toilet papers came by my house and asked do I have any crack candy. Naw, I don't have no damn crack candy or no crack apples. All I have here in the backyard is a peanut butter crack sandwich. Help yourself, and while you're at it, clean up all the damn doggie dodo that's everywhere. Thank you, Mr. Toilet Papers.
What was Stephen Hawking's shampoo?
Head and Shoulders.
My ass itches.
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a boogie in it!
What do girls and toilet roll have in common?
They both deal with a lot of crap.
Kid: Licks money.
Mom: Hey, don’t lick the money. It is dirty.
Kid: Is that why they call people filthy rich?
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? Because it was stuck in a crack.
Confucius say, "man who go to sleep with itchy bum, wake up with smelly finger."
Would you rather have a menstrual period with horrible cramps for 200 days straight (including men)?
Or eat 10 lbs of dog s**t every day for 100 days?
Today my toilet paper ran across the road, but it got stuck in the crack.
Yo' mama is so stanky, her Sure deodorant got confused and her Secret deodorant told on her.
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
To wipe the chicken's ass!
What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?
Throw in some laundry...
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose 👃, but you can't pick your friends' noses 👃 👃 👃.
You are so skinny, you probably wipe your butt with floss.
POV: Get a banana cleaner and use it as a sex toy.
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger-licking good.