Hygiene jokes
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
'Cause he got stuck in the crack! *butt crack*
Why was the homeless lady only wearing one sock?
She started her period.
What is the difference between a hipster and a hockey player?
A hockey player showers.
Singing in the shower is fun, until you get soap in your mouth.
Then it's a soap opera.
Yo mama is so nasty, she buys sex toys at the second-hand shop.
found this xx
Toothbrush says, "I have the worst job ever."
Toilet paper says, "You think your job is shitty."
Why is Helen Keller's snatch always sore?
She wipes with a Brillo pad.
A guy is walking down the street when he almost steps in something. He looks down and says, "Looks like shit."
He crouches down and smells it, "Smells like shit."
He sticks his finger in, tastes it, "Tastes like shit."
He then smiles and says, "Well, good thing I didn't step on it!"
What did the toilet paper say when he got stuck in a crack on the side walk?
"I got stuck in a butt crack!"
My friend is gonna release an air strike. There has to be at least 20 confirmed toilet kills.
How do rappers keep themselves clean?
They drop SOAP BARS.
How can you tell a woman's pussy is good?
You smell her fingers.
Why was the washing machine laughing?
It was taking the piss out of the knickers!
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
To wipe the chicken's ass!
What did the nose say to the finger?
"Stop picking me!"
My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a hockey player?
A hockey player gets to shower after three periods.
I love your hair today.
How did you get it to come out your nose like that?
Why are orphans always on the toilet?
Because they don't have anyone to give them some toilet paper!
Adam and Eve were sitting on the beach one day, and Eve says to Adam, "Let's go for a swim." Adam replies, "I'm not in the mood."
She says, "Okay, I will go by myself." She puts her toes in the water and splashes around and says, "The water is beautiful, come in!" Adam replies, "Na, still not in the mood."
Eve wades into the water until she gets to her waist. Adam jumps up and yells at Eve standing waist deep and says, "Oh no, now all the fish are gonna smell like that!"