Hygiene jokes
I was at school with friends. One of my friends had hair in her armpits. The rest of my friends and I tried not to laugh or say anything, until one of my friends laughed and told her she had hair in her armpits, so she ran to her locker to get hair remover and went to one of the restroom stalls.
I think democracy is a scam. I love men and I love you. I love men and I love you. I love my dog. He won't sleep inside and I shitted my pants. I peed my pants. I smell bad. I took a shower and my dog was like, "Oh my god." I was like, "Oh." I was like, "Oh my god," and then I was like, "I shitted again" and he was like, "Bark bark," cause he's a dog. Thanks for listening.
Poopies in my undies.
Would you rather:
Fight Mike Tyson
Or
Lick an elephant's butt after it took a crap with diarrhea?
A, B, C, E, F, G. You smell like a baby. Maybe you should not be "Hati-ey."
Your momma's so nasty, she sucked your daddy's dick and kissed you good night!
Why do you have to wipe yourself with toilet paper? Because bugs can crawl, eat your poop, and drink your pee!
Did you know toilets, while you're at work, eat your toilet paper?
Your mom is so fat that she cannot look at her feet when taking a shower.
Why does Helen Keller look in the toilet after taking a poop?
Nobody knows!
What's the difference between broccoli & boogers?
People don't eat their broccoli.
I saw some toilet paper rolls rolling in the wind.
So I called, "Toilet Papers Rolling In!"
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It didn't; it got stuck in a crack.
So you know how sheets are always so tight at hotels?
Well I looked under the bed and there is a freaking room cleaner holding the sheets. All he says is "Don't ask or you shall die!"
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the street?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
Two old Indian ladies out picking potatoes, one lady stops, staring at this huge potato, turning it round and round.
The other old lady says to her, "What are you doing?" She says, "These potatoes remind me of my husband's nuts."
She says, "Oh my, are they really that big?" She said, "No, they're that dirty. lololol"
Why is Fairy's washing up liquid the best form of lubricant for anal sex?
No more tears.
What time is it when you need to go to the toilet?
Two-ply!
Why couldn't the toilet paper roll down the road?
My friend's 4-year-old daughter made up this joke.
What kind of poo should you put in your hair?
Shampoo.