Hygiene jokes
How do mice floss their teeth? With string cheese.
What do you give the dentist of the year? A little plaque.
Why did the mop lick the floor of the bathroom? Because it was so poopy.
Why did the Indian man refuse to use deodorant? Because he wanted to smell like his natural habitat, the shitter.
Person 1: Somebody farted.
Person 2: No, all I can smell is your breath.
Memes
DIS IS NUT FOR KIDS
What is the sweat between Dolly Parton's boobs?
Mountain Dew.
What do ants use when they're stinky?
Deodorant.
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
'Cause he got stuck in the crack! *butt crack*
What do your underwear and the Starship Enterprise have in common?
They are both concerned about “Klingons near your anus”.
Why are bald people very easily manipulated by a shower?
Because when they take a bath, they get brainwashed!
What did the mouse say after its bath?
"I feel squeaky clean!"
My mom wanted me to brush my hair.
And I just told her that even pet animals don't like their hair brushed...
I told my therapist you are too fat and ugly to date grown men. Then she asked me, "You wanna give a judgemental reaction about that?" I said, "Okay, you smell rat pee on somebody's cock."
POV: Get a banana cleaner and use it as a sex toy.
You're so skinny, you probably wipe your ass with floss.
I was at school with friends. One of my friends had hair in her armpits. The rest of my friends and I tried not to laugh or say anything, until one of my friends laughed and told her she had hair in her armpits, so she ran to her locker to get hair remover and went to one of the restroom stalls.
I think democracy is a scam. I love men and I love you. I love men and I love you. I love my dog. He won't sleep inside and I shitted my pants. I peed my pants. I smell bad. I took a shower and my dog was like, "Oh my god." I was like, "Oh." I was like, "Oh my god," and then I was like, "I shitted again" and he was like, "Bark bark," cause he's a dog. Thanks for listening.
Poopies in my undies.
Why is Fairy's washing up liquid the best form of lubricant for anal sex?
No more tears.
Your mom is so fat that she cannot look at her feet when taking a shower.