Hygiene jokes
You lost 30 lbs when you joined Weight Watchers, and lost another 10 lbs when they shaved your back.
My brother said, "Bruh, why you so ugly plus why do you stink?" Me: "Is that supposed to be a roast? I got one for you. Why do you look like you came out the wrong side of your mother? Instead of her stomach, you came out of her butt. That's why you were born with brown spots on your head. That's her poop, you stupid fuckface." My friends: "Ouch that's gotta hurt."
What are the four letters you don't want to hear from a dentist?
I C D K
A man in Saudi Arabia was caught stealing hand sanitiser.
The silver lining for him is that he will not need hand sanitiser anymore!
Why don't pirates take a shower before walking the plank?
They just wash up on shore.
What happens when there's ten people in one house and they all have to shit and there's one bathroom?
It's a motherfucking shitshow party!
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm in your apple!
There was this boy. He had diarrhea, and he kept asking to go to the bathroom, but the teacher said no. Next thing you know, he pooped himself in front of the class.
What goes in hard and comes out soft? A toothbrush.
You're so ugly that when you walk past the toilet, it flushes itself.
Me: Why do you need to use shampoo when you are already bald? 🤣
Your hairline is so far back that you have four faces to wash every day.
Person 1: Somebody farted.
Person 2: No, all I can smell is your breath.
Yo mama is so fat that a whole forest grew on her, but it was sad because she really smells, so the forest died.
Why can't toilet paper cross the road? Because the toilet paper got stuck in a crack. 🤣🤣🤣
My mom once told me to spread positivity across the world, so I did.
I spread Covid across the globe because I tested positive :D
I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.
Herpes? No, I don't want her. Her pees.
You’re the type of person who would pee before a shower.
You look like the type of guy to wash his/her hands after a shower! (And don't write in the comments that there are more than 2 genders.)