Hygiene jokes
My brother thinks he's cool when he just SMELLS.
When you're at school and you have to wipe your ass, but it's only one ply...
Your finger breaks through... mmm, finger lickin' good.
You're the type of person to wash your hands after a shower.
New Windex ad:
You should get Windex for that dirty mind!
What's white and sticky?
Toothpaste.
Have you ever tried anal bleaching?
It really helps assholes lighten up.
How do you recycle a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the f *ck out of it!
"Have you taken a bath?"
"No. Why, did one go missing?"
Why do balls be hairy? Cause they stinky!
How do I get out of the toilet seat? Help me, please. I'm very stuck!
Q: What do you call a nun in a pool? A: A bath bomb.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a hockey player?
A hockey player gets to shower after three periods.
If you get out of the shower clean, how does your towel get dirty?
"Jiggle balls, jiggle balls, jiggle all the way."
"Dr. Squatch will heal the itch, and know it goes away, hey!"
What can you do if you have a rotten piece of candy?
Would you rather:
Fight Mike Tyson
Or
Lick an elephant's butt after it took a crap with diarrhea?
Would you rather eat a girl out who has: herpes, COVID, and AIDS while she is on her period?
Or eat live worms, bats, and mice?
Would you rather have a menstrual period with horrible cramps for 200 days straight (including men)?
Or eat 10 lbs of dog s**t every day for 100 days?
Two brothers play on the street. One of them finds a condom on the ground. Not knowing what it is, they go to their mum and ask what it is that they found. Mum gets mad and yells to throw that away immediately.
Guys go back to the yard, surprised why their mum got mad for just latex. One of them says: "Why did mum get so angry?" The other: "I have no idea, thankfully we did not tell her that we've eaten the yogurt inside!"
You're so dumb that every time you use the bathroom, you use your shoe to wipe your ass.