Hygiene jokes

You're so ugly that when you walk past the toilet, it flushes itself.

Me: Why do you need to use shampoo when you are already bald? 🤣

Your hairline is so far back that you have four faces to wash every day.

Person 1: Somebody farted.

Person 2: No, all I can smell is your breath.

Yo mama is so fat that a whole forest grew on her, but it was sad because she really smells, so the forest died.

Why can't toilet paper cross the road? Because the toilet paper got stuck in a crack. 🤣🤣🤣

My mom once told me to spread positivity across the world, so I did.

I spread Covid across the globe because I tested positive :D

I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.

Herpes? No, I don't want her. Her pees.

You’re the type of person who would pee before a shower.

You look like the type of guy to wash his/her hands after a shower! (And don't write in the comments that there are more than 2 genders.)

If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are probably built upside down.

Yo mama so fat, she has to bathe in the Pacific Ocean.

My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.

We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!

I think democracy is a scam. I love men and I love you. I love men and I love you. I love my dog. He won't sleep inside and I shitted my pants. I peed my pants. I smell bad. I took a shower and my dog was like, "Oh my god." I was like, "Oh." I was like, "Oh my god," and then I was like, "I shitted again" and he was like, "Bark bark," cause he's a dog. Thanks for listening.

What do you call sex with a hoover?

Clean sex.

Why did Jeffrey get blood on his shoe?

Because this teen just started her period!

Girls are like bacteria. The toxic ones are everywhere, and you have to take special care of the good ones.

Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?

My Indian wife said last night if her fanny would taste like vindaloo curry, I said I've smelt your fucking armpits, you've got no chance.