Morning routine jokes

Amber Heard's Morning Routine

Wake Up. Eat Breakfast. Take a Shit. Get Out of Bed.

After a long day of work, Kanye West goes to his Kanye Nest to take his Kanye Rest. He wakes up feeling his Kanye Best. Then he’ll get Kanye Dressed on his Kanye Vest to go on a Kanye Quest. He goes to church and becomes Kanye Blessed, then to a hotel room to be a Kanye Guest.

Go on the quintillionaire morning routine now!

1. Wake up. 2. Take a shit. 3. Eat. 4. Get out of bed. 5. Have breakfast.

Why do girls rub their eyes after they wake up in the morning? because they don't have balls to scratch.

I wake up in the morning and I suck my teeth.

Men wake up with a boner.

Women wake up yawning.

Coincidence?

What is the second hardest thing in the morning?

Getting up.

I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. -- I'm not really a mourning person.