Humor
What’s the difference between KFC and a woman on her period?
One’s finger-licking good and the other is just a fast food restaurant.
What do you call a guy named Kaiden?
I don't know, lol.
"Hey, man, do you have any Ben and Jerry's?"
"Yeah, I have two of them, fresh and preserved in the freezer."
"I meant the ice cream, bro..."
Maybe we should stop talking about orphans, their parents will get ma... oh wait.
Why do emos cut themselves?
To play noughts and crosses.
Memes
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
A cow with no front legs walking around?
Beef stroganoff.
Man: Hey Siri!
Siri: Yes?
Man: I'm desperate, will you marry me?
Siri: Uh...
*phone literally explodes*
What do you call an annoyed octopus?
Octopissy.
When you ask your friend, "Can I hear a joke?"
"Sure."
"What do orphans and orange peels have the same?"
"What?"
"They both get thrown out."
Like Markgeraldnasol and his Pokemon Jokes.
What do you call a killer that uses psycho powers?
Mr. Mime!
My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets."
The only joke here is the topic.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that does comedy?
Sit down comedy.
My grandpa lost his toe today. 😔
Nvm, we found it. It's in his TOEtruck.
When they walk in and you're fucking... everyone at the morgue.
Do you know Candice?
"Candice balls" fit in yo mouth.
What is the best whey to make friends with an American boy, you bunch?
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because there is nobody to call "daddy."
Someone threatened to break into my house, but I am in a wheelchair. I said sure, and I moved everything upstairs and sat on the stairs so he couldn’t steal anything.
Butt hehe.