Humor
You know you have twisted humor when you crack a smile when a Minecraft farmer says he separates the white sheep from the colored ones.
What do u call a Chinese man with one leg?
Tie-wan-sho.
So, me and my girlfriend that I just got 7 weeks ago, we’re in class. We had this sub named Mrs. Bellatrix.
We both raised our hands and she called on both of us.
Me: First of all, are we in kindergarten? We can’t be doing 4x4 kinda stuff.
Leah: And also, are you from Harry Potter?
Brrr, it's fucking cold outside, aye? What do you guys want for Christmas? A sweet video game? Maybe a cool action figure? Oh, how about the latest phone!
Who me? Oh, I guess... I wish snow could melt as fast as the snowflakes that downvote good jokes! Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!
I was in class doing sex education. We were learning about sexual stereotypes.
My teacher turns to the class and asks, "If anyone could tell him what a sexual stereotype was?"
So I raised my hand and said, "Asians have small penis." He looked at me and said, "Very good, but I was looking for a definition."
Haha, you just saw sex!
When a Muslim dies, he gets 72 virgins.
It's the same thing with priests, except the virgins are children.
69.
"If you can make them laugh and giggle, you can make their booty shake and jiggle."
Q: What is Hitler's least favorite grocery store?
A: Jew-Osco
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a campfire and shouted out "Hot Wheels!"
Someone: Stop making jokes about sh!
Me: Oh, sorry man, I'll cut it out, I'll cut it out deep!
Guy: Do you know how to draw woman's rights?
Girl: No, how?
Guy: All you need is a blank paper and reality.
How do you make a snooker table laugh? Tickle its balls!
What’s the difference between life and a rape joke?
Life fucks you until you stop breathing; a rape joke fucks you until it’s not funny anymore.
You know, 9/11 jokes aren't funny, they're just PLANE wrong!
Mia’s mother has 5 kids: Lilly, Abby, Alexa, Mila, and.... Q: Who is last? A: Mia.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady, you don’t need to yodel about it!
What did God say to the black person?
"Oops, I burned one."😳
Not racist, just funny.
I guess you can say he xxxpired.
Why did he die?
Because God made a mistake and pressed Ctrl+Z.