Bob Jokes

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Person

Three dead bodies are delivered to the mortuary one day. Each of them has a great big smile on their face.

The coroner examines the bodies and then calls the police to tell them what has happened.

"First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector", says the coroner.

"Second body: Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."

The inspector then asks, "What about the third body?"

"Ah," says the coroner, "This is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the redneck from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning."

"Why is he smiling then?" asks the inspector.

"He thought he was having his picture taken."

2
Anonymous
in Yo mama

Yo mama so fat, even Bob the Builder said, "We can't fix that!"

Anonymous

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? Matt

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? Bob

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel

Amylia
in America

Why did Bob fall off the swing while playing? Because he had no arms. Knock Knock who's there not bob

5
Joe

If u want to pick on someone, pick on orphans. Let them tell their parents. Double! Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere! Triple! Why did Bob cross the road? Because he wasnt wearing his seatbelt.

4
Funny but sad.

Bob and Brad loved baseball. When Brad was dying , Bob asked Brad to see if there was baseball in heaven. Brad died and two weeks later Bob woke up to Brad's voice. Brad said I've got good news. They do have baseball in heaven. Bad news is that you're up to bat next.

SK53

Bob Ross fighting in Vietnam. "The're in the happy little trees, shoot the happy little trees and bushes."

Anonymous

you

Weirdo.

Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed, receiving medical treatment not that far after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit him. Jeremy told his best buddy this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb tall peaking mountains, and low flat valleys, and all after that we'll be happy forever in heaven, eventually."

little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor

Anonymous
in Word

A grasshopper walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender says, "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper looks confused and says, "Oh really? You have a drink named 'Bob'??"

Sick

Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed receiving medical treatment soon after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit Bob and told him this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb peaking mountains, and cross low valleys."

little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor

Anonymous

what does a tuna, piano, and a tub of glue have in comen? you can tune a piano but you can't piano a tuna? but what about the glue said bob I ? new you would get stuck on that

Crap hole
in Michael Jackson

WY is the captain from sponge Bob and Michael Jackson so similar... They both say a you ready kids

Anonymous

wow why so many of the same joke

Plagiarist
in American

Decisions taken by world leaders often have great significance during a crisis.The Americans, in particular, are suffering many losses during the current global pandemic. Remember, In the 1980's they had Ronald Reagan, Johnny Cash and Bob Hope. In 2020 they have Donald Trump, no Cash and no Hope!

Pistacio
in Body

Jeff asks, "Did you hear about the guy they call the flash?" Bob responds, "No, I haven't. Do they call him that because he runs fast?" Jeff replies, "Nah, they call him that because he doesn't wear pants."

Not a robot
in Planet

Bob: Hey bud remember we're going to space! Carol: really? I forgot to planet.

billy bob the 2thsss

Who is older than twin towers?billy bob the 1th,he was older than the twin towers he was born 3 minutes before the twin towers and still alive today