Bob Jokes


What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? Matt

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? Bob

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel


in America

Why did Bob fall off the swing while playing? Because he had no arms. Knock Knock who's there not bob



Three dead bodies are delivered to the mortuary one day. Each of them has a great big smile on their face.

The coroner examines the bodies and then calls the police to tell them what has happened.

"First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector", says the coroner.

"Second body: Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."

The inspector then asks, "What about the third body?"

"Ah," says the coroner, "This is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the redneck from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning."

"Why is he smiling then?" asks the inspector.

"He thought he was having his picture taken."



If u want to pick on someone, pick on orphans. Let them tell their parents. Double! Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere! Triple! Why did Bob cross the road? Because he wasnt wearing his seatbelt.


Yo mama


Yo mama so fat, even Bob the Builder said, "We can't fix that!"



what does a tuna, piano, and a tub of glue have in comen? you can tune a piano but you can't piano a tuna? but what about the glue said bob I ? new you would get stuck on that


wow why so many of the same joke


Bob Ross fighting in Vietnam. "The're in the happy little trees, shoot the happy little trees and bushes."

Crap hole

in Michael Jackson

WY is the captain from sponge Bob and Michael Jackson so similar... They both say a you ready kids


Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed, receiving medical treatment not that far after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit him. Jeremy told his best buddy this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb tall peaking mountains, and low flat valleys, and all after that we'll be happy forever in heaven, eventually."

little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor



A grasshopper walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender says, "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper looks confused and says, "Oh really? You have a drink named 'Bob'??"

Random Face

One day Billy, Bob, and Doo Da went fishing in a small boat. None of them could swim and they had no life jackets. Doo Da suddenly started yelling, " I got one boys! '' as he started trying to reel the fish in. It was way to large for him to get onto the boat and he fell into the water. The fish had a nice meal that night. Billy and Bob were in shock, but knew they had to tell Mrs. Doo Da. Upon arriving at her house, they did rock paper scissors on who had to tell her the news. Bob lost. He slowly rang the doorbell and Mrs. Doo Da answered. "U-uhm.. we...Doo D-Da..f-fish..." Bob stuttered then he screamed and ran off. Billy went to go retrieve his friend. Billy had a nice little talk with him and slapped him across the face to get him to just say what happened. Soon, the two men returned to Mrs. Doo Da's house and rang the doorbell, again. She opened the door and looked at the two men and asked, " I've been trying to call Doo Da and he hasn't answered, is he ok?" Bob took a deep breath and took a step forward with a smile on his face. He sang, " We went fishing, guess who died, Doo Da, Doo Da. He smiled and he said good bye, we morn Doo Da today.''

GG Miller

You're so bald, Bob Hope would refer to you as 'grandpa.'



why did the chicken cross the road? to eat bobs arms Bob went to hospital and had no arms Knock knock who's there not bob

imcool cus pro

in War

what do u call a war dodo named bob in ww2 and he came from mars , BRUNO MARS



Roblox Talent Shows be like: Host: Next Up is Bob! Bob: Hi! I'll be singing Pian- *Buzzing Noises* Judges: You suck! Bob: I'm reporting! *Bob get's kicked from the server*


Jerry Garcia: I’m going on a TRIP today! Bob Weir: Where are you going? Jerry Garcia: I’m already on it. 😯🦄🌈



hi im bob