Humor

How do you talk to giants? Using big words.

Why did the emo step in front of a car? To get to the other side.

Virgos are always virgins to age 17... Just saying.

Line (DYM 105)

Anyone got any new jokes? I ran through all the pages already.

My ex was so full of shit, she probably poured toilet cleaner in her nose to get relief.

Josh is chubby.

I wanna tell you a scary math joke, but I'm too squared to tell you.

What do you call Peg and Cat from Peg + Cat? Egg + splat.

Eggy joke for all to enjoy!

Me explaining to the school nurse that ice can't cure everything.

Nurse: hOW DaRe yOu OpPosE mE mORtAl!

Why does new pavement smell like butt?

In other words you can also call it asphalt.

Ass-phalt.

In this modern age, I feel as though it's inappropriate to make jokes about herbs and fish.

It's not the thyme or the plaice for it.

Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"

What do you call a nervous zucchini?

An edgy veggie.

A few days ago, I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet, and he sent me a large goat with a long neck. Turns out I phoned Dial-a-Llama.

I find it difficult to count to ten in French: un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept.

I can't say the next one because I have a "huit" allergy.

I was at a concert in the front row, and I shouted something to the band's guitarist. He took it the wrong way and responded: "I'm going to go down there and hit you with my guitar!"

And I replied: "Is that a death fret?"

None of these jokes are close to funny! Btw, who the hell is Gwen?

A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: "Mom, next year for the carnival, can I dress up as a princess?"

The mother replies: "Why? Didn't you like the ice lolly dress from last year?"

Doin (DYM 35).