Humor

What's the similarities between anonymous and a cow? I think you know...

Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.

Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.

What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?

A bowling ball doesn't cry when you put your fingers in it.

Where do terrorists go for food? The Allah snack bar.

Yo mama so ugly that when Hello Kitty saw her, she said, "Goodbye!"

What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?

One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.

Me when people ask how old my girlfriends are:

"There's 2, there're 4, there're 6, there're 8."

Yo mama so fat that when she went to the fatty competition, they said no because they didn't want professionals.

My grandma always looks at me when we go to a wedding and says, "You’re next!"

When we attend a funeral, I say, "You’re next!"

What’s black and white and red all over?

A crushed nun!

What’s that black stuff between an elephants toes?

Slow natives.

What’s the only plus for someone who burns to death?

They get a discount at the crematorium.

I said I’m losing my mind. My friend said, “You didn’t have much to begin with.”

How many belly rolls does Explain Bear have?

I told AI to talk dirty to me. It started describing my browser history.

Somebody told me that black slang is just white slang in reverse. For example:

White person: Dad, you're home!

Black person: Dad?

White person: You can keep the change.

Black person: Empty the register.

One spelling mistake can completely ruin your marriage.

I accidentally texted my wife, "I’m having a wonderful time. I wish you were her."

Humor is like skin; the darker it gets, the less people like it.

What do gingers miss most at a grate party?

The invitation.

What’s a rapper’s favorite martial art?

Punchlines.

The definition of the word "Disappointment" means running into a wall with a boner and breaking your nose.