Humor

Your head looks like a joke.

What do you call a wild party in a bamboo forest?

Panda-monium!

Why didn't anyone laugh at pizza jokes?

Because they were too cheesy!

LAMO.

How do cats relieve themselves in front of people? By licking their puss.

How do you know if you’ve walked into a sex addicts' counselling session?

The psychologist will thank you for coming.

What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?

A bowling ball doesn't cry when you put your fingers in it.

A Russian walked into a bar... Unlucky for him I guess, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.

I hate it when you say your life is a joke because a joke actually has meaning.

Why did Uranus say gross? Because he saw Uranus.

A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure.

One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four."

Your forehead is deeper than the ocean.

I was going to tell a joke I made up about my vacuum cleaner, but it sucks.

A dark sense of humor is like a pair of functioning legs. Not everybody has one.

Why is jelly laughing a lot?

Because his friend goes nuts!

Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.

Did you hear what happened to Lorainna Bobbit? She was in an accident on the Garden State Parkway. She told the State Police Officer, "That some dick cut her off."

The brain named itself, and when the brain realized that it named itself, it was surprised.

But maybe, it was a spelling mistake and the brain wanted the name Brian. We all have a little Brian in us!

Ever had that feeling that suicidal people are a big contributor to the razor blade industry?

Well, they aren't.

Why?

They aren't repeated customers.

Well, I saw a stripper, and she was trying out bread.