Humor

What's white, sticky, and better to spit out then to swallow?

Toothpaste.

Cesar: What was that good salad called?

Servant: Ceaser, Cesar.

Cesar: Okay, what's going to be the weather like?

Servant: Hail, Cesar.

Cesar: Yes, I know "Hail Cesar," but I need to know what the weather's like!

Servant: Well, it's hail, Cesar.

Cesar: AHHHHH! Send him to the DUNGEONS! NOW!

Hey, wanna hear an abortion joke? Never mind, I can't deliver it.

I should probably stop making jokes about bulimia. They just leave a bad taste in my mouth.

"Confucius say, man who has mosquito on balls truly understands nonviolence."

I pooped in a bottle and stuck my finger through it.

I took some of the boo boo out, licked it, and rubbed it on a wall, making a BOO BOO portal. I jumped into it and I saw BOO BOO LAND. I rolled all in the chunk poop and drank the diarrhea.

What does the bee say to the fly?

"Buzz off!"

What do you call a prostitute in a wheelchair?

Hot wheels.

So I had a friend who was an orphan, and he said, "How's your girlfriend?" I said, "I don't have one." He said, "I know, just reminding you." I then said, "Hey, how's your parents?" I never saw him after that.

What does the pedophile use for bait? Trix!

What do you call it when a chameleon won't change colors?

A reptile dysfunction.

If you get pinched by a man in a wheelchair, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"

I'm just here to say that I don't approve of political jokes.

I've seen too many of them get elected.

Why did the doorbell have a good sense of humor?

Because it got everybody's pokes!

Your hairline is so far, too far, even dark humored jokes are scared of it.

What happened to the man who made too many bad jokes? He served out a cruel and unusual PUNishment.

These gags are killing me!

Why can’t orphans have sex?

They have no one to call “daddy.”

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Joem.

Joem who?

Joem Ama.

I am an Indian joke.