Humor
What do a blonde chick and a field of wheat have in common?
They're both bound to get plowed at some point in time.
I bullied a kid in a wheelchair. I told him to stand up for himself.
Dad joke.
Why does a dad get more than a pair of socks at the golf course?
Because of a hole in one!
My dad died in 9/11... He was the best pilot I know.
Ur mom. (Idk, I'm bored.)
Wife: “I want another baby.”
Husband: “That’s a relief, I also really don’t like this one!”
I’m about to go to the orphanage to say yo mama jokes.
I hate long plants. They make me Ivysaur. Hahahahahahaha Pokemon!
Why did the M&M go to school? He wanted to be a Smartie.
What’s black and long?
The Chick-fil-A line.
Some kid in a wheelchair called me fat.
I told her, "Do a wheelie!"
Q: What do you call a gay cowboy?
A: A jolly rancher.
Dad: Boy, come sit in this hole while I brace the ground.
Boy: I don't want to see Grandpa, he scares me!
Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."
Why can't people understand these jokes?
(Phone call) This is Frank's funeral home and grill, where yesterday's grief is today's beef. How may we help you?
Ask the emo kid: "Hey, how's it hanging?"
I rate it 9/11.
Have you ever seen the Pokemon called Ryh... Rhydon these nuts?
How do you surprise a blind man?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.