Humor
Q. What do filicide jokes and filicide victims have in common?
A. They never get old.
Hey baba girl, I have balls, you know.
A dog walked into a tavern and said, "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one."
The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
Ok ok ok so 7 ate 9, but why was 10 scared? Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
Any 8 year old: Sus!
Me: Jake, we're at a funeral!
Memes
I got evicted from the hospital today for telling all the patients to stay positive!
What a negative effect!
A farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm and says, "This is the pig I'm fucking." She says, "You idiot, that's a sheep!" He says, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."
A farmer artificially impregnated a cow. The cow said to another cow, "It's a miracle, I'm pregnant." The other cow said, "That's impossible, it's only us cows in the field, you must be joking." The first cow said, "Nope, I'm serious... no bull!"
What is the most favorite coffee brand of feminists? Taster's Choice!
A man walks into his bedroom where his wife is carrying a sheep under her arm and says, "This is the pig I've been fucking."
Wife says, "That's not a pig; that's a sheep, dumbass."
Husband says, "I was talking to the sheep."
What's tree plus tree? Sticks! (Three plus three = six)
Memories: I have ligma.
Ligma what?
Ligma balls.
My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."
If Bruce Willis (the guy in the Christmas movie Die Hard) dies of a Viagra overdose, would that mean he truly dies hard?
What should I sell my dragon for?
Dragon these balls across yo face!
What do you call a Gary Dinosaur?
A mega-sore-ass.
It puts a whole new spin on meals on wheels. No pun intended.
Me and my friend roasting each other.
Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.
Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.
Why couldn't the orphan have the bag of chips?
It was family size.
Why does new pavement smell like butt?
In other words you can also call it asphalt.
Ass-phalt.