What’s black and white and red all over?
A crushed nun!
What’s that black stuff between an elephants toes?
Slow natives.
Humor
Person with no arms: Even though I have no arms, I can do anything you guys can.
Me: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏 If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏
Person with no arms: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Ms. Smith: Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze, and I would stay like that.
Little Johnny: Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned.
What’s worse than spiders on your piano?
Craps on your organ.
There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.
Why do cemeteries have fences?
Because people are dying to be there.
Why shouldn't you make fun of burn victims?
Because they've already been roasted!
Osama Bin Laden was trying to give me relationship advice.
Probably wasn't the best time to say "OK Boomer."
I walked up to some Arabs and said "Alawakba," then here came the second tower.
Why did the telemarketer cross the road?
I don't know.
I don't know either, but I hope there was a car coming.
Yo mama so ugly that when Hello Kitty saw her, she said, "Goodbye!"
What is the name of Hellen Keller's dog?
NYAHHH NYAHH NYUUUU NYAAHHHAADUUDU!
Time flies by, doesn’t it?
But the plane in 9/11 didn’t.
Yo mama so fat that when she went to the fatty competition, they said no because they didn't want professionals.
What do you call a person that is both Black and Hispanic and was born on Wednesday? Miérkoolaids.
Yo mama is so ugly, her pictures hang themselves.
You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?
A lot of things.
What do ninjas and depressed people have in common?
They're always cutting.
It's not a joke.
What do you call a paraplegic cannibal?
"Dine and dash."
