Humor
A farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm and says, "This is the pig I'm fucking." She says, "You idiot, that's a sheep!" He says, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."
A farmer artificially impregnated a cow. The cow said to another cow, "It's a miracle, I'm pregnant." The other cow said, "That's impossible, it's only us cows in the field, you must be joking." The first cow said, "Nope, I'm serious... no bull!"
Some kid in a wheelchair called me fat.
I told her, "Do a wheelie!"
Q: What do you call a gay cowboy?
A: A jolly rancher.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite event? Their birthday!
I bullied a kid in a wheelchair. I told him to stand up for himself.
My dad died in 9/11... He was the best pilot I know.
I’m about to go to the orphanage to say yo mama jokes.
I hate long plants. They make me Ivysaur. Hahahahahahaha Pokemon!
What’s black and long?
The Chick-fil-A line.
I'd make a joke about epilepsy, but the computer started flashing.
Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."
Amelia is hotter than my mum 696969696.
Wife: “I want another baby.”
Husband: “That’s a relief, I also really don’t like this one!”
Why did the M&M go to school? He wanted to be a Smartie.
Sis is meme.
Line (DYM 105)
Dad: Boy, come sit in this hole while I brace the ground.
Boy: I don't want to see Grandpa, he scares me!
What do a blonde chick and a field of wheat have in common?
They're both bound to get plowed at some point in time.
What's the difference between an egg and a good wank?
You can beat an egg.