Humor
Big Dik
Why are bears' hair so sticky?
Because they use honeycombs.
What do you call it when you see nothing but pants? Brief psychotic disorder!
What should I sell my dragon for?
Dragon these balls across yo face!
What do you call a Gary Dinosaur?
A mega-sore-ass.
I don't like telling nine eleven jokes, because they always crash and burn.
Went to the doctor, told him I've been having dreams, first about a wigwam, then about a teepee. He said I was too tense.
When you ask an orphan to come over:
Kid: "Do you want to come over to my house?"
Orphan: "Yeah, sure."
Kid: "Ok, ask your parents—oh wait."
Were you born on the streets? Because that's where most accidents happen.
I caught my wife this morning gazing at our marriage license of long ago that hangs upon our wall with tears in her eye!
Almost got teary eyed myself until she told me she was only looking for the expiration date!
So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.
A dog walked into a tavern and said, "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one."
The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
If Opposition Expunged thought he was an animal, what would Thearchy be called?
Therianarchy!
A dog walked into a tavern and said, “I can’t see a thing. I’ll open this one.” The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
Me: I need a good roast.
My friend: Take me!
Fineman, Einstein, and Schrodinger walked into a bar.
Fineman says, "It appears we're inside a joke."
Einstein says, "But only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously."
To which Schrodinger says, "If someone's looking through the window, I'm leaving!"
I don't need a girlfriend, 'cause I got my cousin, bro.
Doctor: You should stop masturbating.
Me: Doc, I'm almost done.
What do you call a blind kid with an eye patch and no arms?
Names.
AB💿