Semen jokes
What is something feminists crave but will never get? Semen.
Why are camels known as ships of the desert?
Because they’re full of Arab semen.
Me and my girlfriend were planning on having sex, but I said me and my little brother share a bunk bed and he’s on the bottom. She said tell him we’re making sandwiches so we came up with a plan. "Tomato" means harder and "cheese" means faster. So we were having sex and she was screaming, "Tomato, tomato, tomato, cheese, cheese, cheese," then my little brother said, "Can y’all stop making sandwiches? You're getting mayonnaise all over my bed."
How can you tell if you have a high sperm count?
When your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.
How much semen can a gay man hold? A buttload.
What is smegma name?
How do you know if you have a high sperm count?
She chews before she swallows.
If Pete and Chasten Buttigieg had a baby, it would be a turd covered in semen.
How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?
The weird moaning sounds when you try to slide in the back door.
Followed by slipping in Kentucky (KY) Jelly.
Followed by landing in deep shit.
Followed by being totally covered in sea men.
There were people having sex when it started sinking. Legend tells when you go near the ship you can see semen, and if you listen close enough you'll hear them moaning.
Now that's a hell of a ghost story!
If Pete and Chasten Buttigieg had a baby together, it would be a turd covered in semen.
Meow meow, I'm a cow and I like cum cum cum.
What’s long and hard and full of semen?
A submarine.
What is cum's favorite hotel?
The Four Semens.
No matter how black the person is, that cum will still be the whitest thing you'll ever see.
What do sperm say while just in?
"We need to go deeper."
Son: “Mom, is there a thing called «friendship» between a man and a woman?”
Mother: “No Son, unless if he’s gay.”
Son: “So your friend is gay?”
Mother with herself: «How did he see me with michael omg if my husband discovered my cheating he will kill me»
Mother: “Mmm.. Yes.”
Father loudly: “YES!!!”
Mother: “What in the hell? Are you gay?”
Father with himself: «Am i an idiot why did i yell?! if she discovered I’m gay and her son was made by Paul’s semens she will kill me»
Father: “No what are saying? I’m just talking with myself.”
*A few hours later*
Mother: “I will go to visit my mother.”
Father: “Me too I will go to visit my mother.”
Son: “Not me too I will go to stud with my friends.”
The mother and the father goes to michael’s house and they found their son playing with Michael and Paul is recording them and saying: «that’s why I love you my actual son oh only if your mother knows».
*The End* :D
Sailors are coming onto the boardwalk and are met by Colonel Sanders. He asks them, "What is your occupation?" They respond, "We are seamen." So he says, "Well, you better wash up 'cause I'm finger lickin' good!"
There is only one thing I have to give my enemies.
A bucket full of dead baby heads and semen so they can replenish their spawn.
Yo momma so slutty, when she got a throat swab, the lab found eight different types of semen on her tonsils.