Floor

I didn't trip and fall... I attacked the floor, and I believe I am winning :3

Kid

Two kids were sitting at a restaurant. One said, "Could I please have some water? I am feeling a little HORSE." The other said, "Animal Puns? TOUCAN play at that game."

Gun

What's the difference between a gun and my will to live? None, they are both absent.

Memes

Skeleton

- What did the skeleton say to his friend?

- Actually... TIBIA honest, I don't know how to complete this joke...

Stoner

Why did the stoner cross the road?

He got so wasted, he thought he was a chicken.

Clock

So I thought about trying to eat a clock one day.

After about 13 tries, I realized this was very time consuming.

Math

Math puns are the first SINE of madness! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Ocean

No one wanted to hear my ocean puns, they said they were too fishy.

Potato

What did the sweet potato say to the potato when he was told to hurry?

I yam.

Pizza

Have you heard the latest pun about pizza?

Never mind. It’s too cheesy!

Blender

Person 1: Why did you put the baby feet first into the blender?

Person 2: To see his facial expression. Why else?

Cancer

My aunt's star sign was Cancer, so it's pretty ironic how she died...

She was eaten by a giant crab.