Why did the blondie put her iPad in the blender? To make apple juice.
How do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? A blender.
How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.
How do you get 500 dead babies into a car?
A blender.
How do you get 500 dead babies out of a car?
A straw.
What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.
What's all fuzzy, warm, and laughing? The person who snapped its neck and put it into the blender.
1 like = 1 more child in my blender.
What's green then red all over and goes 100mph?
A frog in a blender.
What does a perverted frog say? Rub it.
Why don't witches wear underwear? To get a better grip on their broom.
What do girls and rocks have in common? The flat ones get skipped.
What is red and goes 200 mph? A baby in a blender.
What do you call an epileptic kid eating fruits?
A blender.
What’s the difference between fruit and dead babies?
I don’t put fruit in a blender.
My Smoothie Ingredients: - Bananas - Strawberry - The Blood of my ex - Peanut Butter
If tomatoes are a fruit, does that mean ketchup is a smoothie?
Crispy, Juicy, Tender, I just put my new-born son in a blender.
+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.
+1 comment = 1 kid in my microwave.
+1 share = 1 kid in my blender.
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One screams when you put it in a blender, and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.
What’s red and very rare?
A baby in a blender.
What is red and very rare?
A child in a blender.
What does a baby in a blender look like?
I don’t know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
How do you get 100 babies in the back of a pick up truck? Blender.
How do you get them back out? Straw.
What is Green and Red and goes round and round?
A frog in a blender.
(this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended)
What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench?
One can support an average family.
How do you get a baby into a small bowl?
A blender.
How do you get it out? Tostito chips.
