Humor

What do you call a guy who has sex on the Moon?

An “Astronut”!

Kid to daddy: "Why do they call it Uranus?"

Daddy to kid: "Cause, son, it's Uranus."

Why did the Mexican take Xanax?

For Hispanic attacks.

What is the difference between cum and milk? Nothing. They are both white and tasty.

Me at the Anti-Orphan Jokes convention. 💣🗡🔪🧨🔫

What do cats have for breakfast?

Mice crispies.

Where do ducks poop out of?

From their buttquack.

I tried to catch fog today. I mist.

I didn't trip and fall... I attacked the floor, and I believe I am winning :3

I'm dead! 😂💀💀

My brother wanted to sharpen my pencil. I told him he had a point.

What do you call a person who wants to be punched a lot?

A clout chaser.

Search up "clout meaning" if you don't get it.

What’s black and white and dead all over? My Chemical Romance.

You really can't call Stalin bad. Just think about the people that wanted to die.

I don’t like to tell school shooter jokes because they are usually aimed at a younger audience.

Why did the orphan call her boyfriend "daddy"?

Because she wanted that D.

What’s the difference between an epileptic corn shucker and a prostitute with diarrhea?

The epileptic corn shucker “shucks between fits”...

Biggest joke?

[Image of Zac Efron]

What's the difference between a gun and my will to live? None, they are both absent.

- What did the skeleton say to his friend?

- Actually... TIBIA honest, I don't know how to complete this joke...