If someone calls you, just say:
"This is Peter's abortion clinic and pizza restaurant, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!"
Humor
What is a penguin without a pen? A guin...
John saw a Gay in a wheelchair.
"I didn't know a man could be a fruit and a Vegetable!"
Three men were in a desert. One man was holding a jug, the 2nd was holding a paper bag, and the last was holding a car door. A man came around and asked the 1st why he had a jug. He said it was his water and if he got thirsty, he would take a drink.
Then he asked the second why do you have a paper bag? The guy said this is my packed lunch, so if I get hungry, I will eat my lunch.
Then he asked the last man why he has a car door and he said if he got hot he would roll down the window.
What do gay horses eat?
Hay.
What’s the difference between someone who is high on the spectrum [and] low on the spectrum? At least I can write this joke.
A police pulls over a Mexican man trying to get into America. The Mexican man comes up with some sob story and the police say, "All right, all right ok," says the police, "I'll let you go if you can come up with a sentence that has the words green, pink, and yellow in it." The Mexican thought about it long and hard for almost 45 minutes and then the police says, "Ok ok let's hear it" after waiting impatiently. The Mexican said, "Ok ok don't rush me. I'm ready." The Mexican replied, "Ok when my phone green green, I pink it up and say Yellow!"
It was Christmas time for Little Johnny. He was going to make some cookies and milk for Santa until he heard shaking and moaning from his mother's bedroom.
He thinks, "Meh, Dad's probably back from the grocery store."
But 2 seconds later, he heard a "Ho Ho Ho Oh YEAH!" and then a slap. He opens the door. He finds Santa riding on his 19-year-old mom. He asks, "Santa, when did you get here and WHAT are you doing?"
Santa replied, "Your mother asked for her 'milk jar' to be filled, and that's what I am doing."
Johnny says, "Oh. But, Mom, you told me Dad was here, well where is he?"
(Santa winks at you)
Cancer
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
What happens if an Asian walks into a wall with a boner?
They hit their nose on the wall.
What do you call someone with one arm and no legs?
Names.
How many times do you tickle an octopus to get it to laugh?
Ten-tickles!
A blind man once told me he smokes a lot because he has nothing to look forward to. Well, let's just say that I see his point.
What does an Asian doorbell sound like?
"Wing wong wung wang, wong wang wing wong!"
Me: I just came home from Africa, and guess what I saw.
Friend: I don't know.
Me: A black market.
Bro, I love hanging out with white people, it's either we play Yahtzee, or we playin' Nazi.
Foreplay in may areas: "You awake?"
Way down South: "You awake, mom?"
What’s the difference between an emo kid and a dead pig?
Suicide squad.
What's the motto for a pizza place that's also an abortion clinic: Your loss is our sauce.
What do you call having a 69 with a guy in a wheelchair?
MEALS ON WHEELS :-)
