Humor
What do you call an act of “funny” discipline? A PUN-ishment!
What did God say to the black person?
"Oops, I burned one."😳
Not racist, just funny.
Dad: I'm dying.
Son: Hi dying, I'm [name].
Dad: Really, now is not the time.
Son: I'm sorry.
Dad: Hi sorry, I'm Dad. (dies)
Did you know hospitals have an entire wing for free dead babies? It’s called the abortion center.
What did the doctor say to the Chinese patient? "Sum ting wong."
Why are life and a penis alike?
Women make both of them hard.
"Wanna hear a construction joke?"
"Yeah, sure."
"Wait, I'm still working on it!"
Women be like, "Equal rights, equal pay," then decide that they don't want to do labor intensive jobs.
Me at the Anti-Orphan Jokes convention. 💣🗡🔪🧨🔫
Friend: *hits head* Others: How many fingers am I holding up? Me to friend: How suicidal am I on a scale from one to ten? Friend: Ten Me: He's fine guys.
Stop with the 9/11 jokes.
They're not gonna fly.
This joke's short just like Joe Biden's penis.
Oh wait, if I were to make a joke to the size of Joe Biden's penis, I wouldn't write a joke.
A man is standing on the side of the road, waiting to cross, when another man stands alongside him. The first man says, "I have been waiting to cross here for ages. It's impossible to cross."
The second man says, "There is a zebra crossing up the road." He said, "I hope he is having better luck than I am!"
What is the difference between a wagon filled with sand and a wagon filled with newborns?
You cannot unload the sand with a pitchfork.
If you don't stop with the puns, soon it won't be so fun.
We used to have Reagan, Jonny Cash, and Bob Hope. Now we have Biden, no cash, and no hope.
Yo man, stand up.
*short person stands*
No, seriously man, stand up!
What's an Asian orphan's surname? No Pham.
Dad: Why did Jimmy fall off his bicycle?
Son: Why?
Dad: Because somebody threw a washing machine at him.
Me: Why am I an orphan?
Friend: I don't know.
Me: Ask your mom.