Humor

Son: Dad, what's a morbid joke?

Father: Walk over to a homeless man and throw a rock at him, then you will know.

Son: But Dad, I don't have arms or legs.

Father: Now you know.

Why did the stoner cross the road?

He got so wasted, he thought he was a chicken.

What's the difference between a gun and my will to live? None, they are both absent.

Two kids were sitting at a restaurant. One said, "Could I please have some water? I am feeling a little HORSE." The other said, "Animal Puns? TOUCAN play at that game."

Math puns are the first SINE of madness! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

What did one brain cell say to the other brain cell?

"I think I feel a connection!"

No one wanted to hear my ocean puns, they said they were too fishy.

Did you hear about the guy who invented the first knock knock joke?

He won the No Bell Prize!

I didn't trip and fall... I attacked the floor, and I believe I am winning :3

Why didn’t the girl like stairs?

They were always up to something.

How did Stephen Hawking die? Because he didn't charge his batteries.

What do you call an alligator that reads maps? Navigator.

What is the difference between a gay person and a refrigerator?

The refrigerator doesn’t start moaning and groaning when you try to put the meat in.

Boobs are like friends: you have big ones, small ones, real ones, fake ones, but they all get taken out by cancer.

What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.

I'm dead! 😂💀💀

Teacher: Why did you throw paper airplanes at the twin sisters?

Me: You wouldn't get it.

There are two muffins baking in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?"

The other muffin says, "AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a lil' boogie in it ;)

What is a tree's favorite thing to drink?

Root beer.