Humor
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
It's easy to roast beef.
There are 5 cats on a boat, and 1 jumps off. How many are left?
Zero, they were copycats.
If you shit in a church, is it a holy shit?
Me.
The joke is me.
Why do women always have sex with the lights off?
Because they never like to see a man having a good time.
Boobs are like friends: you have big ones, small ones, real ones, fake ones, but they all get taken out by cancer.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. And your mom is, too.
Why did the boy put a chicken 🐔 in his garden?
He wanted to grow an eggplant. 😂
My brother wanted to sharpen my pencil. I told him he had a point.
What’s the difference between an epileptic corn shucker and a prostitute with diarrhea?
The epileptic corn shucker “shucks between fits”...
What did one brain cell say to the other brain cell?
"I think I feel a connection!"
No one wanted to hear my ocean puns, they said they were too fishy.
Math puns are the first SINE of madness! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Why did the stoner cross the road?
He got so wasted, he thought he was a chicken.
How did Stephen Hawking die? Because he didn't charge his batteries.
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a lil' boogie in it ;)
What is a tree's favorite thing to drink?
Root beer.
Two kids were sitting at a restaurant. One said, "Could I please have some water? I am feeling a little HORSE." The other said, "Animal Puns? TOUCAN play at that game."
Biggest joke?
[Image of Zac Efron]
- What did the skeleton say to his friend?
- Actually... TIBIA honest, I don't know how to complete this joke...