Humor

How did Stephen Hawking die? Because he didn't charge his batteries.

What do you call an alligator that reads maps? Navigator.

What is the difference between a gay person and a refrigerator?

The refrigerator doesn’t start moaning and groaning when you try to put the meat in.

Boobs are like friends: you have big ones, small ones, real ones, fake ones, but they all get taken out by cancer.

What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.

I'm dead! 😂💀💀

Teacher: Why did you throw paper airplanes at the twin sisters?

Me: You wouldn't get it.

There are two muffins baking in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?"

The other muffin says, "AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

Guy: Michael Jackson wasn’t in ancient times!

Me: hee hee egypt.

How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a lil' boogie in it ;)

What is a tree's favorite thing to drink?

Root beer.

What do you call a guy who has sex on the Moon?

An “Astronut”!

What do you call a dwarf in a drawer?

Gay.

Why can't gay people have hairlines? Because it's not straight.

What does a condom and a coffin have in common?

They both still have stiffs, but one is coming and one is going.

Orphan: *crying* You: Do you know where your parents are? Orphan: No. Your Friend: They don't have parents!!! You: 😂 I know.

What's the best thing about an orphan GF?

You don't have to meet her parents.

Me: Why am I an orphan?

Friend: I don't know.

Me: Ask your mom.

Kid to daddy: "Why do they call it Uranus?"

Daddy to kid: "Cause, son, it's Uranus."

I don't know what to write here, just like...