Humor

What's the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don't set the skeleton on fire.

What did buttholes say after taking a dump?

Buttholes say what a good diarrhea dump.

The Twin Towers ordered a sesame bagel. They got the plane one instead.

Want my opinion on Mongolia? It has its pros and Khans.

What is a lesbian's favorite potato chip flavor? Porn Cocktail.

Q: What is a Mexican's favorite restaurant?

A: On The Border.

My dad’s nickname for me is ‘Tiger’.

Now, my wrists look like a tiger.

I have a picture of Uranus on my computer.

How do you make a peanut laugh? You crack it up!

So, on one partly cloudy night, there was a boy and his dad gazing up at the sky.

Dad: Aren't the stars just wonderful?

Boy: I'm not sure, from my angle, all I see are clouds.

Dad: Well, come over here and take a look.

Boy: Damn, the clouds always move when I get to the right spot!

Dad: Well then, I guess I will have to make you see them everywhere you look then.

Then the Dad shook and spun the boy around till he said...

NOW I'M SEEING STARS!!!

Why do Priests like playing the violin? They get to finger A minor.

If you run next to a car, you get tired, but if you run behind it, you get exhausted.

I'll be here all week... sadly enough for you.

I told my girlfriend that the world is flat.

She said, "but the world is round."

I said, babe, you are my world.

People in Africa have earth, fire, air, but never water.

I don't know what to write here, just like...

What's the difference between a prostitute and a trash bag?

There's a limit to how much trash goes in the trash bag.

Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like an apple.

Guy: Why can't Jesus have M&M's?

Priest: Why?

Guy: Because they'll fall through the hole in his hands.

A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a coma. After 6 months, she woke up. She asked the doctor, "How's the baby?"

"You had twins," the doctor replied. "Your brother named them."

The woman said, "Oh no, not my brother! What did he call them?"

The doctor said, "He called the girl Denise."

"What about the boy?" the woman asked.

The doctor said, "Denephew."

Dark humor is like water, some people get it, some people don’t.